Falling For You...Over and Over Again

TWELVE

Alden

I can hear Maine singing from the hallway.  She has such a wonderful voice.  I don't know that song but I'm sure I've heard it be before because it sounds so familiar.  I peek through the half opened door to see what's going on and saw the most beautiful picture.  I feel tears threatening to fall.  I admit that I am such an emotional guy, but lately my emotions are just really overwhelming. 

Maybe this is what fatherhood does to you.  This overprotective instinct just comes out naturally.    Like when we left the hospital and the press people is surrounding us, wanting to get a photo of my son, I was this close in shoving them all, so his nurse can bring him safely up to the vehicle,  but since I don't want anyone touching and helping my wife too,  I can't do it. 

I don't think there's something wrong with me right?  I think it's just natural for a husband and a father to protect his wife and his son.  Right?

My wife is still lulling our son while nursing him as well.  I love that she is open to that.  Her maternal instinct just comes out naturally too.  I remember how she pouted when Sebastian didn't latch on her nipple the first time we tried, she really look so disappointed.  The good thing is, Dr. Chin and Nurse Marie were there to assure her that it is normal.

I also remember how I rallied Sebastian to try harder the next time we try, because we don't want to disappoint mommy, when I was holding him and Maine was taking a nap.  And I am glad that our son doesn't want his mommy to be sad either, because the second time we tried he latched on his mommy's nipple and locked his lips and didn't let go ever since.

The singing ended and the room was quiet again.  Only the purring sound of the air purifier that I had installed in the room, can be heard. 

"That was beautiful babe."  I whispered, so as not to startle them both. 

"Hey, how long have you been there?  I didn't notice you."  Maine glanced up my direction and reached out her hand to me.

Walking towards them, I grab her hand and kissed her knuckles.  She tugged my arm so I'll bend down and she gave me a kiss on the lips.  For some reason, those unexpected quick kisses are always the sweetest and it gives me that prickling sensation on my nape. 

"Not too long."  I answered back. "I heard you singing to our son.   I don't know that song, what is it?"

"Oh it's a song by the Beatles.  The title is I Will. There is a story behind that song."  She tells me.

I look at her and nodded, urging her to continue.

"It was a song my mom used to sing to me whenever I feel sad, or afraid."

"Oh really?  But why were you sad?"

"It actually started when the family moved to Virginia.  I was sad because I have to leave my friend behind, although I was only three then,  I have this best friend, her name is Nydia, she is a Hispanic little girl and we were neighbors.  We play together all the time.  And so when we move, I have to leave her.  My first night in our new home,  I was restless and crying.  My mom doesn't know what to do to calm me down, she said, she cradled me in her arms until I calmed down and when I was just whimpering, she started singing me that song.  It was her favorite.  And then later on she told me that she heard that song from her favorite movie, "Love Affair."  She stops and looks at me, caressing my face.