Well last night was a little emotional for me I ended up crying myself to sleep which made Ruby wake up and ask me what's wrong which then prompted me to tell her everything I was feeling. Which now that I think about it was really fucking stupid. Like really fucking stupid because now she's on her way back to LA and I'm here in Atlanta with Zoe and Dez telling them its just us going to White Waters that Ruby had an emergency come up. God today is just shaping up to be great
"Zoe.............Dez...................we're leaving in 15 minutes." I yell from the kitchen
"Hey hun where's Ruby?" My mom asked walking in the Kitchen
"She uhh she ummm had to do some acting thing in LA so she's gone. We'll meet back up with her tomorrow." I lied
"You know I'm your mother right?" she asked
"Yeah."
"So, we both know you're lying so why don't we cut the crap and you tell me what's really is going on?"
"She left okay....." I whispered trying not to cry
"She left or did you push her away?"
"I didn't push her I just........I just.........I fucked up okay?" I started crying
"Ohhh come here......its okay." she said while caressing me as I cried into her shoulder
"I didn't mean it....... I'm just under a lot of pressure right now."
"Mad now you know that blaming everything but the actual problem then nothing will ever get solved"
"But I don't want to be the problem." I continued crying until I heard Zoe walk towards the Kitchen
"Mommy....." she started
"Hey Zoe do you think you could help me feed the dogs?" Dez asked before she could get in the kitchen and see me falling apart
Luckily she went with him
"Alright now look at me......... if you don't want to be the problem your gonna have to let go of these insecurities that are making you shut down and push everyone away." she smiled while wiping my face
"Okay....." I gave a faint smile
"Now go fix yourself so you can go to white waters and spend sometime with you daughter and brother."
After letting the last few tears fall I went to the bathroom to fix my face.
Hey I'm sorry about last night.' I text Ruby as I went to go put on my bathing suit
She didn't respond hell she didn't even open it so I guess that's over now. Fuck
I really fucked up.
While I want to cry about how I fucked up and I wished I could take back what I said but its a little to late now. So I did the best I could to put on a fake smile and seem like I'm not half dead inside.
"Hey Mad you good?" Dez asked after I buckled Zoë in her seat
"Yeah I'm good.." I lied as I walked to the driver side
"Madison......... No more lies....."
"Dez....... I'm fine......."
"Alright fine if you're not gonna tell the truth I'm not gonna help you fix it"
"Wait what? " I asked as I opened my car door
"Nothing."
The drive to the park was silent Zoe feel asleep and Dez wasn't talking to me so there was that honestly it was like my life was falling asleep. I don't know how to fix it its just.....just......god I wish Ruby was her......I think I really fucked up with her though. I don't know how to fix it either because saying 'I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that I'm not sure of our relationship I know I want to be with you well at least I think I do I don't really know I'm kind of just feeling depressed right now and I'm not sure what to do with my life."
"So that's what's wrong with you?" Dez asked pulling out his ear buds
"Please tell me I didn't just say that out loud?"
"Okay I wont tell you but is that what has you like......." he started
"Like what?" I asked hoping we weren't thinking the same thing
"Mad I know we're both thinking the same thing."
"Dez I'm fine okay."
"Yeah that was what you told me then the last time."
"I thought we weren't going to talk about that ever again."
"Relax I haven't told anyone else but you cant expect me to not be concerned right now when you're showing the same symptoms as last time."
"Dez i don't want to talk about it..."
"Well I do Madison...."
"Go ahead...." I let out a deep sigh and grabbed the steering wheel
"Look Mad I don't want to reopen any old wounds but I need you to be honest with me are you sure you're okay?"
"Dez I'm fine okay...... I promise you what you saw that day will never happen again."
"Okay so will you tell me what's wrong then?"
"I fucked up with Ruby she left I got sad."
"Well that was a very elementary answer but I get it and I know I may not be an expert on the whole love thing but it is very obvious that you two care about each other so if I were you I wouldn't worry about."
"And why should I not worry about it?"
"Because you're amazing and if she doesn't realize that and come back then she doesn't deserve you."
"Oh look at the new love expert." I laughed as I pulled into a parking spot and cut the car off
"Don't hate..." He joked
"Thanks....." I whispered as I pulled him into a hug
"Don't mention it, you've always been there for me." He smiled as I turned to wake up Zoe
"Zoe baby we're here." I smiled turning and gently tapping her
She didn't say anything she just popped up smiling
I grabbed the tickets and towels from the backseat while Dez gave Zoe a piggy back ride to the door. after we got in I rented a locker so that we had somewhere to put our phones.
We rode a few small rides before Zoe decided she was hungry and while i didn't want to spend over $50 on food but I had to feed them.
After we ate we got in line for this slide with an open bowl at the end of a frightening looking drop.
"Excuse me but do you all have room for one more?"
------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone so if you read my authors note then you know I said I will be updating on the 20th of every month if you didn't well know you know and I know that its no longer the 20th so I owe you all this chapter i hope you enjoyed it and sorry for the cliff hanger. ill make a deal with you all if this chapter get 100 reads before the 20th ill post the chapter then.
Let me know how you're feeling
Comment
Vote
Share with your friends
