Broken Home.

29

So today is the day I talk to Luke. And all the boys. I just think it's a good thing to go live with Kelsey for awhile. I can't have a relationship with Luke or Mike right now. I need to get everything straight, find a job and my own house, then I will see if I can choose between them, but right now, I can't.

I knocked on Luke's bedroom door and let myself in. "Hey Jules."he said and I smiled, sitting infront of him on the ground. "What's up?" "Luke, I need to talk to you.." "Oh oh.. What did I do wrong?" he asked and chuckled. "Nothing. Look, I had a talk with Micheal yesterday." I said and his face changed to more worried then he was before. "You're going back to him, aren't you?" he said and I shook my head. "No, but.." I took a deep breath. "I can't be with you either, Luke." I said and he looked at me, shocked. "W-What? Why?" I sighed. "I need to get my feelings straight, Luke. I like you, I really do, but I'm still in love with Mike.." I said and he looked down, nodding. "I understand if you hate me right now." I said and he looked up. "I will never hate you, Julia. I will always love you, even if we're just friends." "Best friends." I corrected him and he smiled. I got up and hugged him. "You comming downstairs? I need to tell all of you something." I said and he nodded.

I walked downstairs, where Kelsey was waiting with the other guys.

"So.." I said, as soon Luke sat down and everyone was looking at me. "Why do I have the feeling you have something terrible to say?" Ashton said and I sighed. "Because I do.." I said, looking at my hands.

"Look, with everything going on right now, I think it's for the best that I'll go live with Kelsey for a while.." I said and they looked at me as if I have gone crazy. "Are you fucking kidding me, Julia?" Calum asked and I sighed. "I'm sorry Cal, but I have to.. Look, I'm not in a good place lately, I feel like I'm becoming depressed again and I can handle all this.." I said.

"But we can help you.." Ashton said and I shook my head. "No you can't. You guys go back on tour soon and you will not have time for me at all, because you guys are busy doing what you love. And I don't want to come inbetween all that. And I need to make up my mind. Because, as all of you know, I think, I like Luke.." I started and Micheal looked up. "But I-I... I still love Micheal. And, because I'm already stressing and stuff, I thought it be better if I go live with Kels when you guys are on tour, so I can get my rest, get therapy or something so when you guys come back, we can have a normal life again.. That's if you guys will remember me.." I said.

"Ofcourse we will remember you, potato. And as soon we come back from tour we're coming back to you." Ashton said, standing up to hug me. "Thanks Ash." I said, hugging him back.

"So.. When do you leave?" Micheal said, not looking up. "Uhm, well. I thought about tomorrow. Maybe we can do like a movie night?" I said and Ash stood up. "Calum, you go get food, I will get blankets, Luke you go get movies." he said and I chuckled. "I'll go with you." Kelsey said, walking after Ashton, leaving me and Micheal alone.

I sat down across of him and we both didn't look up or said anything. "So.. You love me?" he said and I sighed, looking up, finding him looking at me. I slowly nodded. "After all.. this? Rumors and stuff, what I did too you?" he said and I nodded again. "What did you do to me..? You saved my life, Mike. You all did, but I fell for you.." I said.

"Then why can't you choose me above Luke?" he asked. "Because... Like I said, I'm a mess, Mike. I don't know what to do anymore. I sometimes lay in bed thinking why the hell I'm still here! Why I'm still alive! It's better if I don't go on the rest of tour with you and when you'll come back, I hopefully have my answere!" I said and he looked at me.

"Jules.. Please.. You're here because I love you. I don't want you out of my life, Jules." he said, standing up and sitting next to me.

"You're all I want, Julia. You're my whole damn life, I can't live without you. And I will always wait for you. I will always love you. You will always be my best friend. My partner in crime. My shoulder to cry for. You're my happyness, Jules.. I love you.." he said, grabbing my hand.

In that moment, I thought I died inside. I looked him in the eyes and noticed something...

He didn't had those sparkly green eyes like he had before.

He didn't looked happy anymore.

He had bags under his eyes.

I saw emptyness inside of his eyes, instead of his happyness.

I saw hurt. And that hurted me.

I didn't noticed his once green hair wasn't really green anymore, he looked more tired then before. He too, was a mess..

After what felt like a hour staring at him, I hugged him. At first he was shocked, but soon returned the hug, leaning his head on my shoulder. I did the same and hold him tight. I missed him, I admit. I missed his warm hugs, his smile, everything about him..

We pulled apart and I looked at him. "You're fans are worried." I said and he sighed. "I know. But not only about me." he said and I sighed too, "I know."

We just stared into eachother eyes, until we slowly leaned in. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. They almost conected, but then Ashton and Kelsey came in the room. "We found- wow." we pulled apart and I looked down.

They looked at eachother, then back at us. "So.. we got blankets.." Ashton said, handing each of us one. "Yeah, Julia, come with me, please." she said and I sighed, standing up and walking with her to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" she asked me as soon the door closed. "What?" I asked and she looked at me. "Don't act stupid Jules! If Ash and me didn't walked in, you two would have kissed!" She whisper-yelled. "I know I know.." I said, looking down.

"What happened?" she asked. "Well.. I told him that I was a mess and I sometimes didn't want to be in this world anymore. Then he was like that I was his whole world and all and then I noticed he wasn't the same anymore then we stared into eachothers eyes and well.. We almost kissed. But then you two interrupted." I explained and she smiled.

"I think you made up you're mind, didn't you?" she asked and I looked up, smiling. "Yeah.. Yeah I did.."

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Hey guyss..

Im so sorry I've been so interactive latley. I've just been so busy and stuff it's like crazy. But I will find more time to update, I know I say this like everytime but I'm really trying..

So I've been thinking on ending this soon and maybe make a second one?

I'm already busy with another book, 'Secrey in Love' so if you want you can check it outtt (:!

xxx Ash