Surviving Terminus (BOOK TWO IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

Sleepless Night (SMUT ALERT)

     A couple of days has passed since we went out scavenging, and things have been great for the most part. What Rick had said really got to me, it only took one. One time, one cell, one dramatic change in my life, in all of our lives. We'd have to scavenge and hunt more because I'd need more calories, we'd have to stop constantly for me to throw up or take a piss, and then when the baby is born, it'd be worse. They'd cry, we'd have to find baby supplies, constantly stop for diaper changes, work even harder non stop. I couldn't put everyone through that, let alone a baby.

     I decided to act as if nothing was bothering me, constantly joking with everyone like I didn't have a care in the world, when in all reality, I was fighting my internal subconsciousness, preventing it from letting out a scream of pure panic. I haven't been sleeping, I couldn't sleep, my thoughts were continuously racing through my head at one hundred miles an hour. What if I'm pregnant? What am I gonna do? What if, what if, what if! I was literally driving myself insane. I don't want a kid right now, the world is a fucked up place, and the last thing I want to see is a baby on the Terminus BBQ specials board.

     Ever since the night Rick and I talked, I'd wait for Daryl to be asleep before sneaking downstairs to the dining room, quietly continuing working on the photo albums from the farm, it was the only thing that could keep my thoughts at bay. As I look down at the photo of T-Dog and Carol, I let out a sigh, wishing things were different. I wished we never met The Governor, I wished Merle never got handcuffed to the rooftop in Atlanta, I wished that Lori had a safe delivery, I wished we never lost the farm.

     "Michaela?" I quickly began to cover the photos before looking up at the person, sighing with relief.

     "Maggie? What are ya doin' up?" I asked.

     "I just came to get some water." Maggie answered. "What are you doin' up?" I looked down at the mess of photos and quietly chuckled.

     "Not a clue." I smiled. "I dunno, figured I'd put these things together before we headed back to the farm, ya know?" Maggie quietly pulled out a chair and sat down beside me, taking an empty photo album into her hands.

     "Can I help?"

     "I think it'd be best if ya got some sleep."

     "But I wanna help." Maggie smiled. "Where do I start?" I looked down at the table, silently admitting defeat.

     "I already had sorted the photos into piles of what photo goes where. Just pick a stack." Maggie nodded and quietly got to work. "Thank you."

     "No problem." Maggie said as she placed photos into Rick, Carl, and Judith's album. "You okay?"

     "Yeah."

     "Liar." A voice echoed in my head. I gently shook my head and resumed to working on the photo album.

     "You don't look okay. Ya look tired."

     "I'm fine."

     "Michaela, you can tell me. It'll just between us." Maggie gently grabbed my hand, forcing me to look up at her.

     "It's nothin'. Rick and I had a talk a couple days ago."

     "About what?"

     "Me and Daryl. He got to talkin' about us and, well, you know. Anyways, he got to talkin' about pregnancy, and it scared me. I don't wanna have a kid for them to grow up in a world like this, a world where their parent's lives, let alone their own, were in danger every waking moment."

     "Why would he even bring up pregnancy. Aren't y'all usin' protection?"

     "Normally, yes, but we had a spur of the moment thing when we went out scavengin' that day. My mom died when I was eight, and my dad gave two shits less about me growin' up, I had no one to teach me this shit, Maggie, I had no one. I'm twenty seven years old and have no idea what the fuck I'm doin'."