I decided to get in the shower. I was sore I could barely walk. I started the water, I got in and started to cry again. I cried not really because of the pain, because of the fact I'm a total wreck on the inside and I act like I'm not. I'm broken and fucked up. The kids at school laugh at it, but what if I told them I was going to silt my throat. But sadly they still wouldn't care. I hate myself I'm a monster. I'm ugly, I'm too skinny, I cut, I think about suicide, I'm not a people person I get shy fast, but face it I did this to myself because I'm a freak show. I'm nothing but crazy person.
After I get out of the shower I dry off and put on my clothes. I walk back in my room so I could go to sleep. Then I hear a pebble hit my window. I knew it was Steven. I get up then open the window, like I said it was Steven.
''Can come in?'' he asked me.
''Um.. I mean .... I don't know. '' I said wiping my face from the tears.
''Have you been crying lately..... What's wrong?'' Steven said looking up at me .
''Nothing I'm fine.... I'm Just a little tired that's all.'' I said, knowing I was lying like hell.
''Back up I'm coming in.'' Steven said before he climbed up the ladder I always left there for him.
''Come here.'' Steven said with his arms wide open.
I hugged Steven tightly. I began to cry and held on to him even tighter. I knew I could always count on Steven for anything I needed. He was always there for me no matter what.
''You're cold'' Steven said letting go and looking me in the eyes.
''I know I am, can I go to bed now please.'' I said.
''Yeah, I just wanted to say goodnight to you I-'' Steven was saying but I cut him off.
''Can you stay please?'' I said looking at him while I got in bed.
He kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket. I moved over a little to make room for him. He took of his shirt, skinny jeans and got in bed. I laid my head on his chest. I love to hear his heart beat. Then I put my hand on the other side of his chest. Steven pulled the covers over us to keep us warm. He put his hand on he waist. We just laid together in peace. No talking, just out heart beats and the silence.
I looked up at him, I could see his eyes slowly closing. I smiled and looked back down. I loved the way he looked when he was falling asleep. It was so calming and peaceful to me. I could watch him fall asleep for hours and never get bored. I began to shut my eyes slowly because of the tiredness.
''Kayla help me!!! I cant take it!!!'' I heard someone say.
"Who are you?" I said loudly
BANG!!! I heard the ran towards the noise. I saw a boy with a gun in his hand on his side. Blood was dripping from his head. I turned him over. It was Steven laying there in his on blood. I grabbed him.
''STEVEN, PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO ME, PLEASE. STEVEN I LOVE YOU. WAKE UP IM SORRY. PLEASE, DONT DO THIS TO ME PLEASE. I LOVE YOU, I love you. '' I said as my voice got lower and I started to hold his hand while his hand was in my lap. I started to screamed.
''WAKE UP.'' I heard as someone yelled but whispered at the same time.
It was Steven sitting up while looking worried.
''You were screaming, I guess you had a bad dream or something. You alright?'' he said as I was sitting up.
''Yes it was horrible.'' I said looking at him in his eyes.
I got up and sat in his lap.
''How much do you love yourself?'' Steven asked me.
'' I don't know, but I love you a lot.'' I said back.
''You realize to love someone you have to know how to love yourself. Because how can you love me without loving yourself? Hmm. '' Steven said lifting my chin and kissing my forehead.
'' I don't know, but my love goes to you and God.'' I said while laying back in the position I once was while thing about what Steven said.
sorry there are any typos . the tittle was inspired by jealous by labyrinth. love ya. I hope you enjoy.
did anyone else think of the ramen noodles cup when I said enjoy cause I did. maybe I'm hungry, idk. lol.
