I desperately crave for emotional intimacy,
To prove that he does not only want me for his physical fantasy,
Maybe I'm nothing more than an object for his pleasure,
Constantly under pressure by my manipulator.
To achieve perfection is my deadly ambition,
My enemies use this information as ammunition,
They're waiting to fire a bullet in my direction when I least expect it,
A dangerous game of Russian roulette where the bullet will not miss.
Rage has forever consumed my identity,
It has brought me self destructive behavior to act recklessly,
Manifesting through the desire for my revenge,
These thoughts of self-hatred makes me cringe.
I hunger for flavours I've never tasted,
Then I feel guilty and puke it back up in the end,
Binging is my delicious addiction,
A perlious dose of nutritions.
Failure is caused from not trying hard enough,
My ability to procrastinate makes living rough,
There are some days where I do not want to get out of my bed,
Only because I dread of what challenges are ahead.
I stand in the mirror and admire my beauty,
I was blessed with the physical attractiveness by aphrodite,
Infatuated with every aspect of myself,
I feel more important than everyone else.
I'm not satisfied with the things I have,
I yearn for gratification and it's driving me mad,
There's something I critically need,
The words of approval is what I need to succeed.
-c.m
