It took eleven days,
To murder my happiness and wash the remnants away,
Oh honey, where did my smile go?
The oceans in my eyes are about to overflow.
Mental pressure has stripped me of beauty,
I just wanted to be happy but everyone tells me that I'm greedy,
I'd rather wander endlessly in the depths of limbo,
Forever staring out of this foggy window.
Set my heart on fire and maybe I will feel better,
My lungs are no longer filled with the sounds of inconceivable terror,
Sprinting through the fog to get away from my personal monsters,
They hold me in their arms; drowning me underwater.
My life has become a game of guessing what comes next,
If you want to save me please be my guest,
I am located in the labyrinth of purgatory,
I've fallen between the cracks and companionless for eternity.
But I have grown so alone and my home is empty,
All I've got to accompany me are these vexatious memories,
I was happier dreaming about what it was like to feel joy,
The sinister thieves snatched it away and threw it into the void.
Every night I stand over my comatose body,
I cannot help but notice how bruised and skinny I have become,
My spirit drifted away into the achromatic dreamscape,
I do not want to be alive but will settle for not being awake.
Reality is the knife that stabs me in the back,
Because of it I am unable to laugh,
Everyone starts caring when it is too late to reverse the past,
They're staring at the bloody wrists my monsters have slashed.
The rope around my neck has left an imprint,
Look at the sad entries in the purple book; that is the only hint,
If one day I do not wake up from my nightly slumber,
Sit by my bedside and give me comfort.
I would willingly hand up my life for someone else to strive,
As for me my intelligence and happiness have been deprived,
I will watch them from an alternate universe succeeding in their life,
But it brings me great pleasure to see them blossoming like a garden of silver lace vine.
Maybe my future belongs to somebody else,
I do not mind watching from my own personal hell,
One day perhaps I will receive a second chance,
To live once again but on my own commands.
-c.m
