Torn {Bucky Barnes FanFic}

Chapter 42

I woke up in my bed back at the house. I sat up quickly, pushing the blankets off of me and walking across the room. My shoes had been taken off my feet and placed by the door, along with my jacket, but I was still wearing the jeans and t shirt that I had been in Boston.

It was dark outside. The clock on the bedside table read two seventeen AM.

I turned to go back to bed and try to fall asleep when I heard a loud crash and a voice from outside the room. Without a moments hesitation I exited my room and went to the one next door, where I thought the noise had come from. I went in without knocking, and was surprised to find Bucky standing in the center of the room wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a tight blue long sleeve. A shattered lamp lay on the floor next to him.

"Bucky, are you okay?" I shut the door behind me and walked towards him.

"I'm fine," he said, turning away from me. "I'm fine, I-I was just dreaming, I'm fine; go back to bed."

"You're not fine, you're shaking!" I protested. "What happened?"

"N-nothing," he insisted, breathing labored, "nothing. I'm fine."

As he spoke he absentmindedly clawed at his shoulder where his metal arm began, a pained look on his face. I walked over to him and put my arms around his shoulders in an awkward bear hug from behind sort of manner.

"Cara-!"

"Stop thrashing, stop fighting it," I said calmly. "Take a deep breath, listen to the sound of my voice, focus on my breathing. Your heart rate will slow down and you'll stop hyperventilating, just focus on me."

Bucky's breathing gradually returned to normal, and he stopped shaking. I turned him around so that we were facing each other and urged him to sit down on the little bench at the foot of the bed, keeping my hand on his shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair softly as he collected himself, his head bent downwards and his eyes closed. He slowly put his hand on my thigh as he raised his head, seemingly thanking me without words. I brushed my lips against his cheek in response, keeping my head close to his shoulder.

Suddenly, Bucky turned and kissed me full on the mouth, his metal hand coming up and cupping my face gently. I was slightly surprised when I felt his tongue skim my lip, but I quickly opened my mouth and allowed him to take control.

I suddenly realized how long it had been since Bucky and I had properly made out. Moreover, I could barely recall the last time we'd had sex. While this was understandable considering the circumstances, I missed him; I wanted him.

I began to push up his shirt slightly as we kissed, shifting from sitting to kneeling. His lips froze suddenly as my hands made contact with his stomach, and I instantly withdrew.

"Shit, I'm sorry, that was habit," I apologized profusely as I stood up. "I'm so so sorry, the last thing I wanna do is pressure you into doing what you're not ready to do, and I totally understand if you're not ready to do that be-"

"Cara."

I stopped talking as he stood up in front of me and pressed his mouth against mine again. His hands gripped my waist as I pushed mine into his hair. After a few moments, his hands wandered up my shirt. I pulled back and whipped it off as he began kissing my neck, stopping at the spot right under my jaw and sucking on the skin slightly. I tossed my head back to give him better access, my eyes fluttering closed. He massaged my breasts for a moment, then reached around my back to unclasp my bra. He did, and as it fell to the ground I pulled away slightly.

"Are you sure?" I asked breathlessly, gripping his shirt.

He took it off in response, almost like he remembered the effect his abs had over me. My mouth felt dry and I instantly wanted to fuck him more than I had thirty seconds ago.