take my hand - joshler

8//

{triggering content}

time flew by pretty fast and before tyler knew it, it was 6:57pm.

"i need to go now" tyler interrupts the movie.

"oh man, you should come over again soon. maybe you can sleep over on the weekend?"

"yeah, yeah i'll ask my mum"

"sounds good. bye ty, see ya at school tomorrow"

"bye"

tyler walked home in the semi dark with his jumper on keeping him warm. luckily his house was only five houses down. he walked through the gate and into to the comfort of his home. well, tyler wouldn't say it was comfortable.

he felt like he had to be perfect at his house. like he had to be what everyone else wanted him to be. his mum bossed him around a lot. telling him everything he needs to be. who he has to be. what he has to do. what he can't do. what he can do. tyler had no freedom, and as a 17 year old teenage boy, he didn't appreciate it.

tyler walked in the front door to see his mum in the couch crying. concerned, he walked over to Zach, his brother.

"what's up?"

"grandma passed away"

tyler was suddenly hit with a burst of emotions. his grandma meant a lot to him. and to hear this broke tyler's heart in two.

"i'm gonna have a shower" tyler said to Zach.

"are you even sad? or are you just being an emotionless piece of shit again?"

"fuck. off"

tyler ran up the staircase and into the bathroom looking in the mirror.

"what if i am a piece of shit? just an emotionless piece of shit?"

he looked in the mirror with disgust. disgust of his face. his mind. his eyes. his everything. just everything. tyler felt like a disgusting human, and he felt there was only one way to help.

tyler opened the cabinet behind the mirror. he searched through to find something, anything, that was enough to pierce his skin. he found a razor and thought it was good enough.

he trampled over to the shower and turned it on, removing his clothes and grabbing the razor. the razor was sharp. very, very sharp. he hopped into the running shower and didn't think twice. he looked down, and sliced the blade across his wrist. it wasn't the first time he had done this. he had done it many times before.

tyler looked down at the bleeding wound, thinking of all the stories his grandma used to tell him. all the funny stories that made him laugh. all the stories that made him scared, but then she was there to comfort him. but he will definitely miss the way she accepted him. he told her he was gay. she accepted him, and loved him even. ore for it.

"nothing is ever going to be the same"

tyler ditched the blade at the wall. it slightly bounced off and landed next to tyler. he picked it up and looked at it. at the sharpness. he then looked at the wound. at this point, tyler was in tears. he couldn't stop crying.

"grandma, i'm so sorry"