take my hand - joshler

9//

{probably more triggering content}

tyler didn't fall asleep that night. he was confused. it was morning. it was boring. life was shit and he couldn't handle it. school started in thirty minutes. josh was going to be there, as was ryan. he tried to think of happy things. anything. but nothing helped. the cut from last night was still there. still clear as the sky.

tyler slid a black hoodie on and put on black skinny jeans. the jumper hid his scars, meaning he couldn't take it off.

the walk to school was lonely and cold. the cold air blew onto tyler's face giving him a feeling of darkness. he felt grey. not sad, he felt the colour. grey.

grey was a horrible colour. grey wasn't happy or sad. or in between. grey was suicidal. grey made tyler want to kill himself.

tyler spotted a blue hair boy walking in front of him, about 15 metres ahead.

"josh?" tyler called out.

the blue hair boy responded to the name. his mocha brown eyes glistened in the sunrise glow. he grinned.

"hey tyler"

tyler caught up to josh in a few seconds.

"h-how are you?" tyler stuttered out, immediately regretting it.

"i'm good, how are you?"

that's why tyler regretted it.

"i-im, um, well..."

"tyler you can tell me anything"

tyler thought about everything and anything. he couldn't help it. just like he couldn't help crying right here in front of josh.

"tyler, it's okay. it's all gonna be okay"

tyler knew full well it was most certainly not going to be okay. at all.

"m-my grandma passed away yesterday morning"

josh's expression saddened more and he pulled the brown haired boy into a tight hug.

"oh tyler, you poor thing. is there anything i can do for you?"

bring her back, tyler thought.

"well, no, no there isn't"

"did you do anything, like, hurt yourself?"

"w-why do you a-ask?"

"it just; you seem like the kinda person to, you know, cut themselves" josh's voice trailed off.

"you don't have to tell me if you did, i just, wanna kn-"

"yes. yes i did josh and i'm so fucking sorry" tyler was in tears. it was cold and silent. all you could hear was the small boy crying into his best friends shoulder.

"don't be sorry tyler, it's not your fault"

~

tyler and josh walked down towards the school.

"come this way" josh gestured for tyler to follow him down the street.

"but the schools gate i-"

"i know, but you can't be in there right now"

tyler placed a small smile on his face. following josh down the street, he wrapped his arms around himself in order to warm himself up. josh and tyler walked down to the end of the street where there was a bush.

"come on"

tyler was kinda scared. he knew josh wasn't going to hurt him. he was just, scared.

they walked to one of the logs in the middle of the bush. josh sat down first, tyler following after.

"you can tell me anything and everything right now. go"

tyler looked at josh.

"anything?"

"yes, tell me absolutely anything you want to"

tyler started on with his siblings.

"the don't accept me for who i am. nor does my mum"

"why not?"

"well, fun fact two about me; i'm gay"

josh looked at tyler in surprise.

"woah, you don't seem like the kind of person to be gay"

"yeah, i know"

"well that was a pleasant surprise"

"i guess i have on-"

tyler was cut off.

"guess what"

"what?"

"i'm, kinda gay too" josh blushed slightly.

"well, that took an unexpected turn"

josh didn't say anything next. he just did something he instantly regretted.

he kissed tyler. but to his surprise, tyler kissed back.

"fuck, i, im sorry"

"don't be, i think i've kinda liked you for a while"

"oh, well, i've liked you for a while too" the brown eyed boy was quiet after he admitted his crush on tyler.

"well that's, uh, i don't really know" tyler chuckled.

"we should do this more often"

"we should THIS more often" tyler kissed josh. josh kissed back, and their lips were interlocked for a good few minutes.

"okay, we should DEFINITELY do that more often"

tyler smiled at josh.

"what now?"

"dunno, didn't think i'd get this far to be honest" josh chuckled.

"i never thought i would" tyler replied.