the outsiders imagines || 1965

dancing on my own; sodapop

"i've taken to sleeping on your side of the bed,
the ghost of your arms around me
your phantom whispers in my ear.
we watch the starts together
my body entwined with your shadow,
as we slowly drift to sleep."

—

  they were two lovers just madly in love. nothing could break the bond they had and nothing could bring harm to their intimacy. sodapop had loved y/n with all his heart. and she had loved him back just as much.

  in only his 20 years of living, he was determined he knew what true love was. it was y/n. he loved everything about her, until she was gone.

  y/n had suffered fatal injuries from the automobile wreck she was in and sadly passed. he was heart broken. he was lost without her. she was his rock and she held him together when he was broken. he fell into a deep depression with her there with him.

  two years later, he met someone new. she never gave him what y/n could, but she was the best he had. y/n, was in her glory days up in the clouds, and was given one last chance to see her mortal lover before she was fully consumed into the place we call heaven.

—

y/n

  i was fully consumed onto earth for one last time. i needed to see sodapop, just once to let him know i was ok. i waltzed down the street i used to call home and into the curtis house. no one was home so i decided that they would most likely be at buck's. once again i walked to bucks to be greeted by the foul stench of alcohol and cigarettes. as soon as i walked in i saw darry. i watched as he and steve looked over in the other room and then they turned back to each other.

  "he really likes her steve. i'm glad he's finally happy again. it took him so long to be happy after what happened with y/n. he deserves it"

  "yeah"

  i walked around the corner past the people chugging as much burning alcohol as they could and grinding on their bodies so close to each other. i walked right into the other room to find my lover and another girl slow dancing to the soft beat.

  "somebody said you got a new friend.
does she love you better than i can. there's a big black sky over my town. i know where you're at i bet she's around."

  suddenly my ghostly chest clenched and it felt as though the sky darkened around the area. i stood there watching the love in their eyes, and all i could wonder was does she love him better than i ever could?

  "and yeah i know it's stupid, but i just got a see it for myself. i'm in the corner watching you kiss her. and i'm right over here. why can't you see me?"

  they looked so in love, so much more than soda and i did. i waked right up to them and tried to get soda's attention. it was no use, he couldn't see me. i tried and tried, but my lover didn't know i was there. it made me feel sick how in love he was with her, so i backed into the corner and just sat there, watching.

  "and i'm givin' it my all, but i'm not the girl you're taking home. i keep dancing on my own."

  i had decided that i'd given it my all, there was nothing more i could do to try and win him back. after all, i am a ghost. the song had picked up to the chorus, so there i stood, gently swaying to the beat.

  "i just wanna dance all night. i'm all messed up i'm so out of line. silettos and broken bottles. i'm spinning around in circles."

  i head started to pound. either this was all to much for me or soon i would be swept back up into heaven, where i belonged. the room felt as though it was spinning, but to everyone else, it was all normal.

  "and i'm in the corner watching you kiss her. and i'm right over here. why can't you see me? and i'm giving it my all, but i'm not the girl you're taking home. i keep dancing on my own."

  i felt the dizziness die down a bit but my sickness seemed to pick back up when they leaned in to kiss again. if only that was me. i felt a few tears stain my phantom cheeks. it didn't matter anyways, sodapop couldn't see me in this corner.

  "so far away, but still so near. the lights come on, the music dies. but you don't see me standing here, i just came to say goodbye"

  he was so close within my reach, but yet so far from my grasp. the lights came on and the music started to die, it signaled that buck's would be closing soon. the more i thought about it, the more i realized, i hadn't come here to win soda back. he was already gone. i had just come here in hopes of saying goodbye, but seeing him with someone else saddened me.

  "and i'm in the corner watching you kiss her. and i'm giving it my all, but i'm not the girl you're taking home. i keep dancing on my own."

  he looked so happy with her. i just wished i could have that with him once more before i had to leave forever. but here i stood, in the corner, dancing on my own.

  "and i'm in the corner watching you kiss her. and i'm right over here. why can't you see me? and i'm giving it my all, but i'm not the girl you're taking home. i keep dancing on my own."

  i wished soda could see me. i wished i was made noticeable to him. i gave it my all to grasp his attention one more time but i couldn't reach him. i knew that i wasn't that girl. the girl he would be taking home, so back i went, to dancing on my own.

  "so far away, but still so near. the lights come on, the music dies. but you don't see me standing here."

  my head was spinning again as i felt myself start to fade away. he was so far, but so near. i couldn't reach him somehow. the lights flickered on, and the final song of the night faded out. the music was cut dead as i started to fade. he didn't see me standing here.

  "goodbye sodapop."

  my last words before i fade away...