Heart On Fire

Chapter 7

 I walk upstairs to run some water and soak in a hot bubble bath. I love my bubble baths more than anything. I'm not sure what it is but the bubbles seem to relax me more compared to sitting in plain water.

I go to my room and get a pair of boy short panties and a spaghetti strap shirt to wear to bed. I pat Zeke on the head and kiss his nose and go to the bathroom.

I throw my hair up and get in the bathtub. I sink into the water and let the warmth consume me. I lay there until my hands and toes are wrinkled. I guess it is time to wash my hair and get out before I turn into an old lady. I run a comb through my hair while I still have conditioner in it so I won't have as many tangle when I get out. I wash my body in my cherry blossom body wash. Rinse myself off and get out of the bathtub.

On my way to bed, I grab my book to read so I can read more. I jump in to bed beside Zeke. I struggle to pull the covers out from underneath him before I can cover up. "Fat butt get off my covers". He raises his head up and looks at me then, puts his head back down without moving as to say " You call me names then I'm not moving." I finally get the covers making him roll over on his other side.

He raises his head up to look at me for a second and lays it back down on the extra pillow. He goes right back to sleep, I wish it was that easy for me to get some shut eye. I read until I start feeling sleepy then put my book on my nightstand, turn over and go to sleep.

I wake up at eight, so I get my jogging clothes on and go start breakfast. After I got my bacon cooked. I poured the cooled grease over Zeke's food. He loves bacon grease and I like because it makes his coat healthier, shiny. I go sit on the couch and watch Netflix. When we both get done eating I wash my dishes and grab two water bottles and Zeke's leash. We head out the door to the park for a morning jog.

When we got to the park there were a lot of kids playing already. I sit there and watch as some of the parents chase them around the park. I hope one day I am lucky enough to be able to do that with my kids. I will probably have to get artificially inseminated because I don't trust any guy to stick around when they find out that I am pregnant. I have heard to many stories of the man bolting after he finds out. I want to be ready to raise my child alone if that is what happens. They don't know how to stick to one woman. 

As we get out I put the leash back on Zeke and head for the track. I stuck my earbuds in and start jogging. I start thinking of everything I have been through in my life. All the drama, all the heartache.

My dad passed away when I was six, my last memory of him was him reading me a bedtime story before I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to find my aunt at the kitchen table crying. He went to the store for some ice cream and never came back. A drunk driver crossed the yellow line and hit him head on. He passed instantly. He was my first love, my hero, and he was gone in a blink of an eye.

A year and a half later my baby brother, Brendon, was murdered. He was only ten and I was twelve at the time. He walked across our road to go to his friends house to play. Our neighbor had just gotten a new video game and invited him over. He made it in their yard but, a woman was going to fast around a curve, lost control of her car.

I seen him fly back ten feet from the car. My mom and I held my baby brother in our arms until the ambulance arrived. He, unfortunately, passed two days later in the hospital. I thought I would have more time for him to aggravate me. That's what brothers are supposed to do, right? I miss him a great deal but I know it was his time to go to heaven.

My mom stayed in bed for five months after that. I tried to encourage her to get up. I was only twelve but I tried so hard to make her see that she could find a better way to deal with it. I came home from school and found her laying in a pool of blood in the floor with a picture of him and my dad laying beside her. She couldn't deal with it anymore so, she sliced her wrists open. It was heart breaking.