I clenched my fingers tightly around the phone and did my best to attempt to sit it down on the nightstand. My body was shaking violently from anger and that had an overwhelmingly effect on my hands. The phone missed the edge and hit the floor with a thud. I couldn't believe that he would do this to me. I mean sure, girls get cheated on all the time. But ones that were chased down for nearly a year and tortured just to get an 'I Love You'? Ones that stuck their neck out for said cheater time after time after time? Ones that took beatings to where they were damn near at the point of incapacitation? Ones that risked their career that they strived years for?
I slid out of the bed and felt the cool air hit against my skin. My stomach immediately swirled around and I felt sick. I had just made love to this son of a bitch. The guy that I had actually been stupid enough to give a chance after he dragged me through every fire pit available on the route to hell. I could feel the slippery sensation sliding down from between my thighs as evidence of what we'd just done. Everything that I had been dumb enough to just hand over to him.
I grabbed my underwear off the floor and slipped them on with shaking hands. It was better if I just left, otherwise I might have killed him. Searching around in the dark, I threw my hands on my jeans and shrugged my way into them. My bra was thankfully nearby. Along with a T shirt that I pulled over my head. My hair was still soaked from the shower as I pulled it out of the collar and allowed it to fall free.
As I bent down to grab my suitcase, I noticed that I had put on HIS shirt. I glanced at him as he groaned in his sleep and his arm touched the side where I had been. Feeling around for me. Isn't that the craziest shit? He had her already and he still wanted me. He 'loved' me. I felt the disgust for him forming in the deep part of my gut. In an instant, it became tangible.
I bolted to the bathroom, pushing the door open with my forearm. My feet gave out underneath me and I landed right on my knees in front of the porcelain. All of my lunch from earlier spilled right out into the toilet as I clutched the sides tightly. Luckily my hair was slicked back and sticking to the shirt. I couldn't believe that someone could literally make me sick to my stomach.
"Are you okay, doll?"
I hurled another round just at the sound of his voice.
"Shit you're sick," I felt his hands under my arms and he pulled me to my feet. "Let's get you cleaned off."
He wet a cloth under the water and wiped my mouth for me. A burst of anger filled my chest when I glared up at him. He smirked back. As if he hadn't done anything wrong.
I lost it.
I shoved him with all of my might and his back collided with the door.
He looked at me surprised. "Olivia, what the fu-"
I rushed at him, punching him with a closed fist in his eye. His hands came up, presumably to either push me off or strike me back - I didn't let him. I hit him again. A solid punch to his jaw and he went sailing down in the doorway to the hall. I jumped on him and grabbed a handful of his hair, slamming his head into the floor repeatedly.
"You knocked her up!" I screamed turning his face to look me in the eye. "You dumb fuck!" I punched him again in the opposite eye. "I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you!"
I repeatedly kept pounding at him, no kind of strategy just pure anger coming through every hit. I was seething. I was heartbroken. I was fucking deranged.
In my heart of hearts, I knew that he could've overpowered me at any second. But it's like he was choosing not to. Because he knew that he was wrong. That just fueled me to hit him even harder. I took any open shot I could and struck him where ever available. His mouth - where he'd been telling me all of these bullshit lies. Where my lips always were. I felt like I was trying to erase myself from it. Knuckle to teeth after knuckle to teeth after knuckle to teeth shot.
I felt myself get more frustrated with him and started shrieking that I hated him. Over and over and over until I had tears forming in my eyes from the stress. I just wanted him to know that everything we had built up in six weeks was torn down in a matter of ten minutes.
Blood started to leak onto the carpet from his bottom lip and nose. Although, I had every right to keep going. I chose to stop.
I pushed myself off of him and stared down as he writhed in pain covering a percentage of his face. I swear in that very moment, I contemplated spitting on him. Self control stopped me. My eyes landed on my suitcase and I raced over to grab it.
"Livy," He coughed. "Wait."
I ignored him, swiping the back of my hand under my eyes so he wouldn't see that I had actually started crying.
"Olivia, please." He pleaded, a hitch to his voice as he tried to crawl on his knees.
I moved to the otherside of the room to snatch my phone and wallet, stuffing them into my pockets. I didn't slow down until I nearly stepped on his phone as it beeped again.
He managed to sit up, placing a hand under his chin as blood flooding into it. "Can you let me fucking explain?!"
I picked up his phone and threw it at him, hitting him square in the center of his face. He collasped on his back with a groan. I yanked my suitcase to me and stepped over him. Leaving the hotel room, the most broken I had been in a long time.
I was able to hold myself together long enough to put the suitcase in the truck. Once I got behind the wheel, I pulled off at a fast rate. Speeding like a demon out of hell, I had all intentions of making it to someone who would understand where I was coming from. Or at least be able to listen to me. So far, I hadn't had a breakdown five minutes into the drive. However, when I found myself halted at red light. All hell - and emotions broke loose.
I beat the bat shit out of the poor steering wheel and the dashboard. A scream escaped me that - if someone was around - would certainly classify me being murdered. I still couldn't get over how he could do that to me. And further more, I just couldn't understand what the hell I had done to deserve it. I had been nothing but good to him. Then he runs off and not only fucks one of our co workers, but gets her pregnant.
Composing myself once the light changed to green, I sped all the way to Leigh's parents house. I jumped out of the truck, leaving the keys in the ignition, I had no intentions of staying there. It'd be the first place he'd come look for me. I made a call as I was going up the walkway so I wouldn't disturb the house and Roman opened the door for me. In his T shirt and basketball shorts.
"What are you doing here so late?" He asked looking over my shoulder. "Where's Dean?"
I burst into tears and just threw my arms around him. Burying my head into his chest and crying as quietly as I possibly could. His hands smoothed up and down my back.
"Babycakes, what happened?" He murmured.
I couldn't even stop crying long enough to attempt to tell him. Thankfully, he held me closer to him and dismissed trying to ask again.
"Get in the truck, I'll grab my things and we'll go talk." He pulled away to look me in the eyes. I nodded and he kissed my forehead.
Doing as he promised, he came back out with his bags, put them away in the trunk and took over as the driver. I just leaned my head against the window, continuing to silently allow tears to roll down my cheeks. Once I felt like my lips could move long enough without breaking down, I explained everything to him. Piece by piece. He didn't seem too shocked but he definitely felt for me.
"So where do you want to go?" he asked gently.
"I don't know." I ran my hand through my wet hair. "Where ever he won't come looking for me."
"If he did - I'd kick his ass." he looked over at my fists. "But I think you already took care of that."
I laughed, looking down at the dried blood over my knuckles. "I think if I had something in my hand, I could've killed him."
"Well let's just be glad you didn't." he chuckled. "Now we need somewhere safe for you to stay until RAW. Hotels are off limits. He's an expert at tracking your cards."
I raised an eyebrow.
"I might've seen him do it once or twice." he shrugged. "It was last year anyways."
As if that would help anything.
"Shit, think." He muttered to himself. "I have an idea but I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it."
"I'd stay in a motel at this point. Just tell me."
"My place?" he asked hopefully. "That way you can have the whole house to yourself and just fly out on Saturday to whatever city we're in."
"That sounds fine to me. Why would that be uncomfortable?"
"Well because you're my best friend's girl."
"Not anymore."
-
-
-
After another fourteen hour drive, we ended up at the large Florida home. The sun was beginning to set since we had made so many stops. Coffee. Pancakes. Kleenex. Through it all, I must give it to him, he was trotting through it like a soldier. My phone constantly rung but I only answered Seth's calls. He relayed the situation to Leigh who made her promise to come comfort me in person. With wine and steak.
We made our way inside while he carried all of the bags. "The guest bedroom is upstairs, but I'm sure you already know that."
"It's been a while since I've been here." I said with a small smile. "I may have forgotten."
"My place is unforgettable."
"Sure it is," I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to bed."
"Alright, don't come out until you're ready." He called. "I wouldn't judge you if you stayed in there for a few days."
"Don't." I started going up the stairs and heard him sitting the bags down. I whipped around. "Hey, Roman?"
"Yes?"
I ran and threw my arms around him. Burying my head into the crook of his neck. He'd done everything for me that I needed. There was doubt that he was one of my greatest friends now.
"You're welcome." He patted my back and I pulled away smirking.
Then made my journey upstairs. I opened the door to the guest room and stared at the bed. My resting place for however long I would be dead inside. I didn't bother changing any of my clothes. I had borrowed Ro's hoodie to cover up Dean's shirt. And I knew that if I unzipped it, I would have another breakdown.
So, I just climbed into bed and brought the covers over my legs. My phone was still vibrating in my pocket. After a fourteen hour drive with two hours worth of breaks in between, he was still determined to hear my voice. The same one that was damn near hoarse from screaming at him. In my final act of defiance, I threw it against the wall and watched it shatter into pieces. Then, I pulled the covers over my head and cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up, I pulled myself out of bed and ordered my legs to carry me into the shower. The water was scalding hot but it didn't bother me. For whatever reason, it didn't bother me. In my mind, I knew I was rinsing him away. Every touch, every kiss, every single piece of him that he left behind. I vigorously scrubbed at my skin just to be sure of it. I rewashed my hair several times before I managed to get out.
I slipped on a pair of grey sweatpants and a tank top. Then I got right back into bed without a second thought. The ceiling and I were in the middle of a staring contest when a knock fell on the door.
"Is it alright to come in?"
"Yeah." I answered sitting up against the headboard. Roman came in with a Tim Horton's bag, dressed in his workout gear.
"Are you hungry?" he asked with a nervous smirk. "Brought your favorite."
"Define my favorite."
"BLT and Broccoli soup."
I smirked. "Okay, so you do know me."
He proceeded in and sat on the edge of the bed. "Of course I do. Here," he shoved the bag towards me and I took it.
"I thought you'd be gone by now." I mumbled opening it.
"I'll stay with you as long as you need me to." he patted my thigh. "I'm not going to leave you like this."
"I'm fine." I lied.
"Well you are at least showering on your own. And your hair doesn't look too bad." He shrugged. "AT least you're capable of taking care of yourself."
I looked at up at the grin on his face. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this."
"You act like I wouldn't have walked right into it, anyways."
I nodded, pulling the sandwich from the bag. "So what's on the agenda for today?"
"I'm going to the gym. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel like joining me." He nudged me. "It's a great way to take out your aggression or whatever the hell you're feeling right now."
I managed a small smile. "Probably."
"Take all the time you need in here," He assured. "I'll be here all week for you."
"Thanks, Ro." I took a bite of the sandwich only for him to mush it against my face slightly. "Ah! You bastard!"
He laughed and jumped off the bed. "Just a little joke."
"I've got your joke right here." I kicked the covers off and chased him out the room.
-
-
-
After he left, I found myself actually feeling like moving. I grabbed the Tim Horton's bag from the bed and took it downstairs. I sat on the couch and stared at the 85 inch television. I managed to figure out how to work it after about ten minutes of fiddling with three different remotes. Flipping through the channels, I settled on MTV - where for once - they were actually playing videos.
The Script - Nothing, came on.
Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet
Every lyric seemed to give me a flashback of him. How masochistic of me to sit there and listen to this song go on as tears trailed down both of my cheeks.
They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'll never
Only they can't see where this is gonna end
They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense
+ +
A few weeks ago...
"Deannnn!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs, but of course he wouldn't slow down. This is one reason why I didn't like riding people's backs. They never knew when to stop. "You're going to make us fall!"
"You will if you keep screaming in my ear!" He argued, running faster. "We're not going to miss this subway."
"We can just catch another one!"
"No, we're going to make this one." He had his hands in the crook of my knees while they sat on his waist. My arms were around his neck securely to keep steady from all the bouncing. We were running down the streets of Brooklyn. He had the amazing intuition to leave for Manhattan after RAW to hang out alone. It was our first week as a couple and it was still a secret, so hanging out around people was not really an option.
He was very determined to make sure that this was a fun night.
"Ambrose, watch the baby!" I pointed through laughter and he ran around the olive haired woman with a carriage.
"I've got this, Olivia." He told me. I saw the stairway to the station approaching and got extremely nervous. "Hold on."
He bolted down the stairs with me on his back and I couldn't stop laughing. His determination was undeniable. When it came to everything.
"If I get a concussion, I'm going to fucking kill you!" I joked.
"Yeah, yeah shut up."
We burst through the rotating pole just as people were boarding. He walked right on with me and I jumped down from his back happily.
"We made it," he said out of breath, leaning down to kiss me. His lips touched mine for the first time that entire day and I couldn't help the instant smile that I got. "Why are you so giddy?" he asked pulling away.
"Because," I shrugged. "I like this. I like us together."
He grinned and grabbed my hand, leading me through the train until we found an available seat. We were just like any normal couple now. His fingers laced through mine and he set them on his lap.
"One year worth of bullshit for this moment," he sighed looking at me. "It was very much worth it."
I laughed. "It's only been a week."
"Feels like an eternity." He stared right into my eyes. "I can't wait to see how the rest of this plays out. It'll be great, I promise."
"Unfortunately, I have to take your word for it."
"That's all you need." He tucked a curl behind my ear. "Trust me, doll."
I smiled back at him. In that moment, I believed those words. I truly did.
+ +
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind, turn it all around
And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred
So I, dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing (nothing, nothing, nothing)
I snapped out of my flashback and wiped my face frustratedly. The tears were constant, not slowing down even for a second. No matter how hard I brushed them away, they'd still come. Out pouring like a waterfall while the gears in my heart, twisted and turned.
I felt a hand come around my shoulder and I was pulled into someone's chest. Soaking their sweatshirt with my consistent crying. My hair was smoothed down my back softly.
"It's going to be alright." Roman soothed and I gripped the back of his shirt. "Everything is going to be alright." He started quietly shushing me and repeating it'll be alright like it was a mantra. As if it would fix everything.
But it didn't.
Nothing would.
-
-
-
(Monday)
I had been at Roman's house all week. He was doing everything in his power to keep me together. After he had found me crying, the next day he forced me to come out with him. We went for a run at this canyon for about an hour or two. Then we put in a vigorous workout at the gym. Once we got back home, I got the surprise that Leigh and Seth had came to visit.
Leigh played my psychiatrist and allowed me to vent to her. Then of course, she grabbed his shirt that I had took and burned it in the fireplace for me. Seth was the most sympathetic. Checking on me every five minutes whenever he was not reading his pregnancy books. I appreciated the support, these guys were just like family to me.
When Monday finally came, I was not ecstatic about having to be forced to be in the same arena as Dean. After he had been constantly blowing up my phone, I knew he'd be waiting for me as soon as we went in. The boys were already on the job though. They went before me and found him to get his attention. Then Seth texted me to tell me it was safe to come in.
I pulled my hood over my head to not be seen - by anyone. My pathway to the locker room was relatively clear. Thank God. I walked in the locker room and all the girl's attention snapped to me.I'm not sure if they knew what had happened or not - but I do know the twins were really good friends with Summer Rae. And the twins talk.
So yeah, I'm sure they did know.
I walked right past the stares and threw my bag into my empty shelf. I stepped out of my jeans and put on my ring gear quickly. I gathered my hair into a high ponytail and taped my hands as tightly as I possibly could. I didn't plan on breaking them tonight. When I looked up, I saw all of their eyes all me. All of them with a look of worry.
"What the fuck is everyone looking at?!" I snapped. "Huh??"
They looked shocked and some of them glanced away nervously.
"Can't you all just mind your fucking business?!" I screamed, stomping towards the door. I pushed Brie down into her chair on the way out.
I left the lockeroom in a huff and went to a private area where I knew no one really hung out at. There was a table full of old production equipment. I swiped all of it off and two monitors hit the concrete, cracking on impact across the screen. I kicked one and it launched into the air landing a few inches away. My fists clenched and I banged on the empty table screaming at the top of my lungs in absolute frustration.
Why couldn't I just be left alone? Even my conscience was gnawing away at me. It was bragging about how it had been right all along. Dean was never any good for me. That's why he had to chase me down. That's why he had to be so relentless. Because I wouldn't give in. I knew I was wrong all along. I definitely knew I was.
And that's what hurt.
I went against myself for him.
And I lost. I lost on both ends.
I ended up flipping the entire table in the midst of a scream. Arms wrapped around my chest and lifted me off of my feet.
"Liv, calm down!" Seth said. "Please!"
I tried to flail in his arms and he just held me tighter. It was then that I saw Paul was with him and tried to soothe me. Julian was leaning on the wall, looking at me with sympathy.
"Ms.Lawrence, control yourself." He murmured. "Before the COO sees you."
I managed to take a few deep breaths to compose myself. Seth loosened his arms around me before dropping them to his sides. "I'm fine, Paul." I muttered and tried to walk away. He grabbed my elbow and pulled me back.
"You're the farthest thing from it." He said slowly. "Mr.Reigns told me what happened. I am so, so sorry."
"Me too." I snatched my arm away. "I just - I want to go at least one day without the sorry ass looks. People get cheated on all the time."
"Not like this. And with my thousand dollar equipment damaged on the floor - I know this is not just some simple break up to you."
I was quiet for a moment and he put his hand on my shoulder. "You've just been cleared from the Punk investigation. The security footage solidified your alibi."
"That's good." I nodded absently.
"So you're the champ again." Seth grinned slapping my back gently.
I managed a small smile. "I know. How about Punk? How is he?"
"He's incapacitated." Paul folded his arms. "A concussion. But nothing too bad thankfully. We're hoping maybe he could tell us who did it."
"If he was hit from behind...he wouldn't really know would he?" Julian asked.
"He could. Whose to say the first strike even knocked him out?" Seth shrugged.
"Believe it or not, I actually hope the fucker is okay." I said.
"Great sportsmanship on your behalf." Heyman patted my shoulder. "Speaking of which, I know a little birdie who has a match"
I nodded.
"Pick up your title on the way." Paul called as I started down the hall. I didn't really bother. I didn't feel like a champion. Why glamorize myself?
I went by the curtain where Kaitlyn was stretching. Her blonde hair touching the floor as she bent over touching her toes. Once she stood up, I could feel her staring a hole in the side of my head
"Are you okay?" She asked gently placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked over at her big brown eyes and an offering smile on her face. "You seem a bit lost."
I sighed and started to move my mouth but I caught a glimpse of something. Over her shoulder, it was Dean. Staring at me with regret looming over his entire body language. I snapped my lips shut and crossed the curtain at the sound of my music.
I had to just get out of his sight. Or get him out of mine. Whichever came first.
As I made my way down to the ring, I tried my best to look unbothered, uncaring and just unhindered. On the inside, I was crumbling piece by piece. I felt empty as hell.
Once the bell rang, I was an animal. Relentlessly attacking Kaitlyn. Not giving her a chance to even stand up for more than ten seconds. I was quicker than her and I was using my speed to my advantage.
After many deadly kicks and five near disqualifications, I managed to hold it together long enough to not snap her neck when I finally put her in the Crippler Crossface.
She screamed and felt around for the ropes as her last valiant effort. I pulled her head back farther and squeezed my legs around her arm tighter.
"Tap, Katy!" I teased.
Indirectly, she did was I said. Patting her hand against the mat rapidly while she screamed. I ordered myself to let go and I rolled away as the bell rang.
Standing up, I got my hand raised by the referee. And my music hadn't even started playing long enough before it was cut into.
"Sierra
Hotel
India
Echo
Lima
Delta
The Shield!"
I looked in the direction of the stands where Ambrose was already halfway down the stairs. He was coming down at a faster rate than usual, a microphone already in his hand.
I shook my head and dropped down, rolling out of the ring.
"Olivia, wait!" His voice rung through the arena. "I said wait!"
I was halfway up the ramp when Roman and Seth walked out on the stage. Standing with intimidating looks on their faces and I knew it was all for show - yet I stopped anyway.
"We're sorry." Rollins mouthed, so the camera wouldn't pick anything up.
"Olivia!" Ambrose shouted and I regrettably turned my head. Seeing that he was in the ring, leaning on the ropes. "Come back here, please."
I looked back at Roman and Seth with anger in my eyes. It wasn't their fault, I told myself.
"Please don't make me come get you." Dean said exasperated. I glanced at him and surprisingly held in my vomit. "Can we please talk?"
I turned to walk to the back and bumped into Seth & Roman who had moved in closer now. "Guys!" I whisper yelled.
"Just go," Roman murmured trying to stay in character. "The sooner you do, the sooner we can get you out of here."
He grabbed my arm roughly and spun me around towards the ring. His hand pressed against my back and he shoved me forward. Not too hard, but enough to maintain his tough guy image.
I glared back at him and slowly moved down towards Dean. My feet feeling as if they would give in at any second. As I neared I could see the damage of my attack. He had one hell of a black eye and a lip that was cut deeply. Yet, he still managed to look almost the same.
I could see my claw marks from the sex we had peeking out from his black athletic shirt. I slowly proceeded up the steel steps, hoping to control my raging temper that was beginning to boil.
He came over and tried to grab my hand but I snatched away from him. Turning my shoulder in his direction and moving to the opposite side of the ring. His eyes filled with a look. A look as if he didn't know who he was staring at.
The feeling was mutual.
"Olivia," he began. "I really want to talk about everything. And I don't care if I have to air our dirty laundry out here - but it's a lot of things that you need to know."
He sighed running his hand through his hair. "I am very sorry that I acted like an idiot. And there is nothing more on this earth that I want than you."
I folded my arms and he took a step towards me. Making me take one back.
YOU ARE READING
Deranged (Sequel to Crazy)
Fanfiction"Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer."
