Falling for Jackson Wang | MARKSON

Chapter 8 | I don't know

Warning: Kinda sexual but also kinda not? It's not exactly, look I don't even know but let's just say 14+ just to be safe.
----//
If I told you I didn't spend every two minutes thinking about what happened last night, I would be a liar. The thing is, Jackson has me feeling all kinds of weird. I keep telling myself I don't love him. I can't love him, because I'm scared. Let me tell you why;

I know people change. I do believe some people can change who they are, but not everyone changes for the better. I do believe that some bad people turn good, but I also believe it doesn't take much for them to change back. I do believe that sometimes people shouldn't change at all. Jackson has changed, I know it, but it takes him half a second to snap back into his selfish state, he's almost two different people. I won't lie, I get scared, scared he'll ruin my life again, scared he'll use me, scared he'll make me his best friend again and then leave me, like I did him.
I'm no expert on love, and I don't want to know what it feels like, but I've heard about it. Minhyuk told me love is being so completely engulfed in someone, that no matter what they do, you can't stop thinking about them. Love is feeling butterflies in your stomach when you see them, even though you've been with them for a year. Love is something you can't just get rid of, it sticks for a while and may never dissappear. Minhyuk told me you should never hide your feelings for someone (it's funny because the next day he literally confessed to Hyungwon and they've been dating for a just over year so I'm pretty sure I have a good source).

And I think love is what I feel now. Love is what I feel when I see Jackson, that's how I know I'm in trouble.

---------------
"What the heck is J-Hope doing?" I asked Rapmon, who was on the other line of the call after hearing a familiar scream of laughter.
"He woke up Suga, with sugar."
"What?"
"He literally poured a full packed of sugar over Suga." Rapmonster laughed, I couldn't help but laugh too.
"I'll have whatever he's on! Where does he get these ideas?" I laughed to the point where tears were starting to form and my stomach was aching.
"Who knows... I gotta go stop a murder, see you later." He chuckled and ended the call.
What... just... happpened...?

I was just about to get up out of bed when I got a facetime call.
Hyungwon.
"Hey bud" I spoke and positioned the camera to face me. I smiled once I saw Hyungwon waving on my screen. All of a sudden, I heard a loud thump followed by a blur of colours on the screen.
"MAAAAAAAARRRRKK!!" Minhyuk screamed and covered the screen with his big grin and bright eyes.
"Hyunggie what just happened?" I laughed, a little too loud.
"He heard your voice and bolted." Hyungwon spoke, his voice muffled due to the crushing weight of his boyfriend on top of him.
"I fell off my seat but it was worth it." Minhyuk grinned, and snatched the phone off Hyungwon.
"You're going to kill him!" I cried, wiping away the tears of laughter.
"Finnee." Minhyuk replied, and moved to the spot beside Hyungwon.
"I'm free!" Hyungwon breathed, and snatched the phone back and positioned it so I could see both boys.
"How are you?" I asked the two. Minhyuk was the first to answer,
"Hyungwon misses you."
"Shut up, you do too."
"I know. Yeah, mostly me actually." Minhyuk confessed.
"Mark likes me more though." Hyungwon smirked
"nO HE DOESN'T" Minhyuk yelled, a playful manner of course.
"Wow, you guys are fighting over me." I pretended to wipe an invisible tear.
"Whatever, we just wanted to know how things are." Hyungwon asked.
I was contemplating telling them about the events of last night, or to just pretend it never happened. In the end I told them, I needed advice.
"So he doesn't like you?" Minhyuk asked.
"That's the confusing part, I don't know." I confessed, running a hand through my hair.
" Just see how things turn out, don't do anything stupid." Hyungwon said.
"I won't, mother." I smiled.
After a while of talking and catching up on the rest of the boys, it was around lunch time and not going to lie, I had to do something productive.
"Okay, we gotta go on our date now." Minhyuk spoke and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.
"Eww, get a room!" I screamed and covered my eyes.
"That's not a bad idea...." Minhyuk joked, a big smirk on his face.
"I'm leaving! Bye!" I yelled and hung up as soon as possible.
What a pair of idiots.