Falling for Jackson Wang | MARKSON

Chapter 16 | Wasn't me

Warning: Mentions of depression, marked with a * finished with a >
It was around 10 in the morning when I texted Jackson to pick me up, he immediately replied with an:

I'm on my way xx

--
Last night was eventful, Jimin and I ended up arguing. I was angry because he literally told me hours before he got into a relationship that he loves J-Hope, he argued that he has his own life and I shouldn't try and decide for him.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the relationship between Yoongi and Jimin. I actually like it, Jimin has become such a close friend to me, so has Yoongi.
I do admit, what Suga did to J-Hope was disgusting and I never though he would do anything like that, ever. Yet, Suga is such a caring person.

He displays a very hard, cold personality towards people who aren't close to him. A lot of people label him as someone who has no feelings.

But that's wrong.

He cares so rarely, when he does though, he cares deeply. The very few friends he has, would be considered family in his eyes.

That's why it was so hard for him, Hoseok ignoring him is killing him.

And he can't help but blame himself.

---- Mark's memories (This morning, 9am)---

"Breakfast is ready!" Jin yelled from the kitchen, all the boys immediately got up and stumbled into the kitchen.
All but Suga and I.

"Mark, do you think I'm a bad person?" Suga asked, sitting on the bed, next to me.
"Of course I don't, why do you ask?" I answered honestly.
"Last night, I don't know why I did it. I asked right in front of J-Hope, and then I felt horrible. It put me in a bad mood, I yelled at Jungkook and I didn't even mean to."
"One bad thing doesn't make you a horrible person, Yoongi."
"Mark, I love you all, but I have some pretty messed up feelings. I love Hoseok, but I love Jimin too. I don't know what I'm going to do."
"It's a pretty messed up love triangle if you ask me." I admitted.
"Do you think I should keep dating Jimin?"
"Do whatever feels right, Suga."
"I don't know what feels right. I care for them too much."
"You'll figure it out, I know you will." I smiled.
"I'll just see how things turn out."
"You do that."

Silence.

*

"I miss Hoseok." Yoongi confessed.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"He's ignoring me. Mark, he was my first bestfriend and I stole the one he loves. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be happy."
"Yoongi, you love Jimin. What has happened can't be changed."
"I know, I just feel so bad. He didn't jump out of bed this morning, he didn't climb on top of me and ask me how I slept. He didn't start dancing in the middle of the room... he didn't talk to anyone."
"Maybe you should talk to him."
"No way, he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"Well, what have you got to lose?"
"Him."
"Hoseok will be fine."
"How do you know? He hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, there was a time where he was-" Yoongi cut himself off, cursing silently. "Forget I said anything."
"Was Hoseok depressed?"
"I'm not in any position to talk." Yoongi stated, quickly standing up.
"Yoongi, please." I pleaded.

Not my hopie.

"Don't tell anyone, I mean it." He whispered, checking if the door was closed. It was.
"I won't." I promised.
"When I met J-Hope he was actually quite shy, but he warmed up to me once we became friends. Everything was great, we would spend the afternoons after school at his house, I would bring lunch that we would share, but then he suddenly stopped talking to me. He stopped showing up to our lunch area, his mother would say he wasn't home... I just thought, maybe he just needed some alone time. I went over to his house one day, he was out at the park but his father let me in. I went uo to his room and found... medication. Mark, I couldn't stop thinking about it. He was hurting and I didn't even know. So we talked about it, he told me as long as we stay best friends, he'll never stop smiling."
When I looked at Yoongi, I melted. He was sobbing.
"How long ago?"
"7 years." He sniffed, "He was so happy from then on. He stopped his medication, he was happy with himself. I could see it in his eyes."
"What makes you think he won't be okay this time?"
"He's doing what he did last time."