Falling for Jackson Wang | MARKSON

Chapter 9 | Love? Maybe.

"Marking you as mine"
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You can imagine what Jackson called 'marking', if you don't, it was basically a bunch of hickies and a the whole 'we aren't dating but you can't date anyone else even though I can' speech, that I was forced to agree to. I mean, if this makes things right between us, why not? Let's not mention the fact he's irresistable and I may or may not be a little attracted to him. Okay, very attracted to him. But it's not like he's going to love me. He's probably going to forget all about me and our 'deal', he'll drop me, leave me alone. He'll just say it was all a joke and leave me heartbroken, because no matter how hard I try; I can't stop thinking about him.

I know I shouldn't, but I had can't stop thinking about his lips against mine and how perfect my body moulds into his. He's put me through so much, but I can't help the feelings I have. I'm so confused. I should hate him! I should despise him! I should be seeking revenge! But I'm not. All I want is to be loved again, loved by Jackson Wang.

What am I doing? He's never going to love me, and if he does, I can't seem needy.
Maybe I should avoid him, let him come to me.

Which was a coincidence because I just so happened to get a call from him, his name flashing upon my phone screen.
Soggy cereal is calling...
So, naturally, I declined it.

Moments later I heard the same familiar ringtone of '4Minute: Hate' and once again, declined.
He didn't ring back though, which I thought was strange.
In an act of bordom, I observed my room smiling, liking the way I had set it up.
I had my black double bed, pushed into the far right corner of my room, a large black bookcase on the closest right corner from the enterance, filled with books. I had a desk and chair set up across the room from my bed and the enterance to my ensuite next to my desk. Inside there I had a sink across the room from the door with a large mirror on the wall, a shower to the left and a toilet to the right. My wardrobe was on the other side of the door to my ensuite, I had a black rug in the middle of my room and a window, in between the end of my bed and my desk.
Most of the things in my room were black, mostly because of aesthetic, and I really like the colour.

It had been a while since Jackson had called... I called him soggy cereal because I hate soggy cereal, it's disgusting and gross to touch, just like Jackson. Lie.
A knock on my window made me jump and nearly sprint down the hall until I realised it was Jackson.

Wait.

How did he get up here?
"Open the window before I smash it open." Jackson hissed, planting himself on a tree branch, his feet steadily placed and his hands on my window ledge.
"Pardon? I can't here you." I said, pointing to my ears, jokes on him though. I can hear him perfectly.
"Fine, I'll do it myself." He spat and tried to maneuver his position to open the window whilst I watched, amused. Squatting, with both feet on the branch, he reached down with his hand and fumbled with the window handle, utter confusion upon his face .

You see, I knew that I'd come across him some time today, just not like this. Maybe he would ring the doorbell? Or just wait? But no, this is Jackson Wang, of course he had to make a grand enterance.

What I didn't know was how clumsy Jackson could be, and I swear my heart stopped.
One foot that was planted on the tree branch had slipped, causing his whole body to be out of balance, the last thing I saw was his body, falling towards the ground. Flinging myself towards the window I threw it open and prepared myself to see a dis-mantled Jackson, on the green grass of my house.
Boy, I was wrong.
I didn't see anything. Maybe he had hit the ground so hard his remains had crushed into fine particles... what am I talking about?!
I heard a chuckle, which then caused me to look down.
The stupid idiot had held onto my window ledge.
"This wasn't the 'hanging' out I had in mind." He joked and hoisted himself up.
I took a step back and let my heart beat again.
Climbing into my room, his smile instantly turned into a smirk.
"Nice room, it's pretty.... uh..." He started, and I just laughed.
"Black, I know. Got a problem with it?" I replied, watching him take a seat on my bed.
"Yeah, I got 7 problems with it." He smiled, which instantly warmed my heart. I missed that smile.
"Too bad I don't want to hear them." I said, taking a seat on the floor.
"Mark, what's you're favourite food?" He asked, suddenly.
Suspicious.
"Mandu, it's a Korean style dumpling." I said, ignoring my doubts. I need to learn to trust him.
"No way. Mine's Dimsum, a Chinese style dumpling." He laughed, his infectious laugh.
"That's crazy."
"Yeah.... so tell me about your life, how was America?" He asked, sweetly and gave me an adorable smile.
Where did this come from?
So I told him. I told him how my mum and siblings were, I told him about how hard it was to move everything, and I told him about Monsta X.
As soon as I mentioned having any sort of friends, he tensed.
"Why should I tell you?!" He hissed when I asked him how he was doing.
"I just asked?" I rolled my eyes, this boy has so many different sides to him.
I saw him, his dark cold eyes again, his muscles were tense and his jaws were clenched. But in a secomd, he relaxed, his eyes returning to their beautiful state and his gaze back on me.
"Things have been alright." He smiled, that meant 'stop talking about this', and I did.
"Okay, back to the real reason I'm here," he patted the spot beside him, so I got up and sat next to him, "I want to take you on a date."
"Thing's are going pretty fast, I mean, it was just yesterday you forced me to date you."
"About that... look, I'm sorry. I don't want to force you into anything. I just- I can't get over you, I see you with Park Jimin and I get... funny. I'm just not used to you having other friends, not in the bad way, I just want to be your number one again. I know I get mad, but I really am trying Mark. I like you, a lot. Heck! I love you! I love you more than anything! I've always loved you!" he shouted, standing from the bed and running a hand through his hair, tears streaming down his face.
"I can't pretend anymore! I love you Mark Tuan, I know I've been an idiot, I've been stupid and I've treated you horribly. Things are moving fast, I know. But I just miss you, I love you too much to wait! If you don't love me, don't date me. If you do, please, say yes." He cried, staring me right in the eyes.
I let a few tears fall myself, after all this time, he loves me. He never hated me. Oh Lordy.
"Jackson, I-I love you too.... but.." I started, watching him, his eyes immediately fell from my gaze as soon as I said those words... I broke him. "I'm going back home in 6 months, what will happen then?"
There was silence, Jackson was still crying, but he had returned his gaze to me.
"I'll come with you."
I was shocked. He had the perfect life here? Why would he come back with me?!
"You're crazy, you'be got a perfect life, you're popular, everyone wants you! Why wou-"
"My life isn't perfect! It's not perfect because the boy I love rejected me!" He yelled.
"I never rejected you! I love you Jackson! I never wanted to, but I do! I can't stop thinking about you, I should hate you! But I don't! I don't hate you." I argued, realising my love for him just then, which was a shock to both of us.
There was a horrific silence between us, he was a metre away from me, I was sitting on my bed, both of us were crying.
"Mark... will you be my boyfriend?" he asked, grabbing both my hands and standing in front of me.

I shouldn't do this.
I'm supposed to hate him.
I'm just going to get hurt.

"Yes." I whispered and tugged him down to press my lips to his.
Why did I do this?
Because I love him, well, at least I think I do.

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// A/N: *Hasn't been edited ;)
Just a heads up, if someone is treating you the way Jackson treats Mark in earlier chapters you should really cut ties. Even if you love them, this sort of relationship is toxic and not good for anyone, I am not encouraging this type of relationship whatsoever and I hope none of you experience this. I'm not promoting bullying or anything like that, so please don't go and think relationships like these are healthy. This goes for friendships too, even 'friends' can tell you to 'not be friends with anyone else even though they can'. Be careful who you make relationships with, and if you're not happy, try and do something about it.
Okay, I wrote this in like 2 hours so if there are any mistakes please forgive me!
Anyway, I hope you and your loved ones are well!
- Dimsum xxxxxx
29/11/16