It's all about time, the time in which things happen and the time it takes for each individual to heal. I've always been told whenever I've been going through a rough spot that 'time heals all wounds.'
But this can be a tough concept to grasp when you're sitting alone in your room crying your eyes out and starring at your reflection in the mirror begging yourself to pull it together and stay strong. It's hard to picture things ever getting better for yourself, that is real pain. Looking at your own reflection, with tears running down your face with that one voice in your mind telling you that this is how it is going to be now.
Well I will tell you something now, if you are currently in that state then that voice is wrong. Right now you are WRONG! The truth of the matter is that right now you are just simply not ready to look into the future, to think positively. And that is absolutely fine I can feel you completely on that one, trust me. It's okay to cry, its part of the healing process. I read somewhere once; you should leave it open, let it bleed and then it will heal.
As I say its all about time, it's crucial. It takes the right time for you to be able to actually say to yourself, 'this is the situation that I am in, this is what I am dealing with. It hurts but now I need to move on.' This is different for everyone, there is no restriction as to when you need to be ready to allow yourself to do this.
I believe that as human beings we all have our negative sides but then we all have our positive sides also, there has to be a correct balance in order for you to be able to function normally. This may sound crazy but think of an ordinary battery; it has a positive and a negative terminal. It has an equal amount of both positive and negative which is what allows it to function in the first place, maybe that is what we share in common with this object.
It takes the right people to also lift you up, to be able to breathe new life back into you. The smallest of actions mean the world, even just a simple hug is enough to lighten the weight on your heart, add a little extra sparkle into your eyes and warm up your smile. It can just make your day.
I realised this the other day when I found myself feeling better, and in most cases being in other people's company generally does help with feeling better because not only do you care about them but being around somebody else provides a much needed distraction for your mind.
You have to find the right people to be around, they have to be someone that know how to raise your spirits by making you laugh so much that you cry, they have to be that type of person who will be your shoulder to cry on when you are going through your dark days of the healing process. Someone who cares about your welfare, your happiness and wants to see you go back to your old self.
The people that I have in my life are so understanding and just amazing, the main thing is that whoever you go to you have to be able to rely on them and give them every last drop of trust in your being.
It only took one evening with these people to be able to find parts of myself again, it only took that one evening for me to realise that this is who I want to go back to, it only took that one evening for my mind to change most of its perspective. Because I believe that the mind gets tired of negativity, it gets tired and fed up of the countless pity parties. Its searches for something for you to hold onto and once it finds it, it won't ever let it go.
The realisation that hit me was something that I had known all along but just didn't want to listen to, it was something that I had always strongly believed in, something that I had lost sight of months ago.
Everything happens for a reason.
And it's true because it does, we don't always realise it but life has a funny way of putting us through the most horrible times as a test, but once you've passed that test everything is so much brighter. You are a stronger form of you because of it.
This is the first step in the right direction, you are now following the right path to go back to being able to be you again. To the person that not only yourself wants to be but also everyone else who cares about you. You are not alone.
You have to act, if you get the slightest bit of doubt in your head that makes you feel like you'll lose sight of this make sure you do yourself a favour and get the help that you need. That is what I am doing, I know that I can't do this alone, not anymore because this is bigger than me. Just for that extra guidance and that extra push, do not be afraid to admit and accept the fact that you need to ask for help because it is actually a major strength. It shows bravery.
So for everyone who is hurting at the moment, for everyone that isn't quite at that time yet I have a few pieces of advice for you:
1. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to feel the pain. (In a healthy way of course)
2. Find things that make your heart feel lighter (for me it's putting on my favourite music and dancing wildly, watching YouTube wrapped in a blanket or reading a book)
3. Surround yourself with your favourite people, talk to them about how you feel and make sure that you laugh lots and lots
4. When the realisation hits you sit down and think about it, think about how far you've come to get here and how much stronger you have become
5. Create some sort of plan and get that help if you need to, it's not a weakness it's actually a major strength
Somewhere and somehow I hope that this helps at least one person.
You are not alone :)
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Outlet
RandomThis isn't a story. Each chapter will be an entry, each entry will be something completely different. Some of the entries could be extremely chatty and may sound like a blog. But I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts.
