Faking It

New Faking It Chapter: 14

"Katie!"

My heart skips a beat at the sound of Travis's voice carrying though the strawberry field. Then I remember that I can't feel this way, and shove those feelings down and lock them away somewhere I hope they won't escape from.

"Kates!" He calls again and smiles when I turn to him. He's bright smile almost lets those emotions loose.

"Mhmm?"

I can't bring myself to look at him. I go back to examining the ripening fruits. I feel a sinking feeling in my chest when he wraps his arms around me with a huge grin.

"How was your day, love?" He asks.

I offer him a forced smile but quickly wriggle out of his grasp. "It was okay," I say.

"Just okay?" He pokes, "Come on! Tell me something good."

"I don't know, Travis." I shrug.

"Come on!"

"Rosie's getting better with her powers."

"That's amazing," he plants a kiss on my cheek and picks up my basket of fruit.

"I guess."

"Well, my day's has been pretty good, the party is the day after tomorrow." He winks.

Something twists in my stomach.

"Hey," He says, his voice serious. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," I shake off and place some more berries into the basket.

"Are you sure?" He frowns, concerned. "You promise?"

My chest hurts. One of our agreements was to be honest and not make promises that can't happen or aren't true. I look at him.

"Just exhausted—there's a lot on my mind." That's not the whole truth...but I didn't lie.

"Oh, Katie-Baby," he cups my cheek and brings his forehead to mine. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

His lips are so close to mine. It would only take a small lift onto my tip toes for ours to meet. What if I did it? It'd be so easy. What if we were in love for real? I shake my head at the thought before I realize I'm really moving my head.

"No," I recover. I cant talk to him about this.

"Are you withdrawing from me?" He blatantly asks.

I tilt my head up I see his blue eyes, are full of worry. "Travis—"

"Did I do something?"

"No! Well, it's just—maybe—" My words stumble out in a mess. I pause at Travis' sinking face and a pang of guilt rips my heart to shreds.

"What I'm trying to say," I start again, "is that this seems like it's coming to close, isn't it? Myra is single, she looks pretty jealous and seems to want you back."

"Seems. Looks." He shakes his head. "What if...well, what if Myra and I don't get back together."

"No what if's Travis, don't think like that." What if's only end in heart breaks.

"What if Myra doesn't start to like me?"

"She will." I say more firmly than I mean to. "I mean, this whole plan was about her wasn't it? Now she's single and this party will be the perfect opportunity for you two to be together."

"Okay, but what if we don't. What if Myra and I never get together again," he says slowly. "But you and I are still together?"

I open my mouth but shut it closed once again. He's not proposing we stay together, I remind myself. He's merely examining a possible flaw in our plan.

"Then you must be blind. The two of you are going to get back together."

Travis stares at me as he shakes his head.

"What?" I step away and cross my arms in front of my chest.

He sighs. "I really like this girl—but she doesn't notice."

"Come on, Travis, the beach party is coming up and there you can seal the deal."

"No, Katie. Trust me, she really, doesn't notice."

"Maybe the times that you're not noticing, she stares back." I feel like such an idiot when I say, "What if she's the one who feels like she's not getting anywhere?"

"Why would she think that?"

"Because you're dating me."

Both of us are silent. Slowly he leans down close. We make eye contact and his blue eyes dilate. I'm sure Railynn has told me what that means, but I can't remember as we breathe the same air.

He holds my gaze, slowly slipping his nose past mine,  then we both close our eyes and press our lips are on the others. Kissing in our own rhythm.

I pull back quickly.

"You are withdrawing from me," Travis sighs, eyes still closed.

Suddenly I'm angry. I shouldn't have this fucking crush on him! I shouldn't feel this way! I shouldn't be having a heartbreak when I knew that signing up for this relationship meant nothing was real!

I frown at him and rush into another kiss. I hate that this relationship is fake! He moves his hands from my hands and slips one under my chin. I hate that I caught feelings for him! My hands tangling in his curly hair. I hate how hard it is for me to stop liking him! He tastes like the wind, mint, and something mischievous. I hate myself! As sad as it is to say it, and as heartbreaking it will be when it's only a memory, is that I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just as fast as we made out, I pull away again. Glaring at the blue eyes I fell in love with, I huff out an irritated sigh.

"Why are you distancing from me?" He pants.

"You're in love with Myra," I tell him. "We're going to break up eventually."

updated:july4,2020