Faking It

Edited: 28

Travis and I walk side by side towards the pier of the lake. A week after finally starting a real relationship, we both couldn't seem any happier. Although in this particular moment, don't hold hands, but we do accidentally keep making contact with each other. Whether it be an arm brushing an arm, or someone trips and other other helps to catch them, or just general quick playful pokes to the stomach. There's somehow some kind of contact.

Accidentally.

When we reach the pier we sit down and let our feel swing in or above the water. So much has happened in so much time. 2 months. The payback prank. The argument. The punishment. The fake relationship. The real feelings. The breakup. The heartbreak. The real relationship.

We sit in a comfortable silence side by side. No one says anything. And honestly I don't know if will be the first one to say anything. He has already said so much. I'm sure. I don't like her. I like you. In just those three small sentences, so much had been shared.

But also, so many questions have sprung out in the midst of it all.

"Travis," I ask, finally saying something. He hums in answer. "Why did you not chose Myra?"

I pause.

"I mean, the whole fake-relationship was all about Myra. Then suddenly when you get the chance to have her back, you don't take it. In fact you rejected it."

"You're asking, when did I start liking you? When, and how." He responds.

I nod.

He at me and sighs. "One day when we were here at this very spot. The pier. The day Myra had been asking for trouble by spitting rude comments at Railynn and trying to put her down. Myra may be trying to change her attitude now, but at the moment Railynn had given her a slap across the face."

I remember that day. That day Jake Mason broke up with Myra and admitted to having some feelings for Rai. That day was so long ago, but still, also not.

"Myra wasn't how I thought she was. I thought she was beautiful and amazing and strong. But that was just a thought. I found that she was only attractive on the outside and that she was terrible on the in. She was weak because she needs to feel higher than everyone, so she puts them down. Those traits are not amazing.

"I saw who she really was. And at the same time I saw who you really were also. Katie, compared to her, you might feel that you're not as attractive, but you are on another level of beauty. You might not feel as though you are strong, but you give strength to people and that makes you capable and strong. Your traits make you amazing.

"Slowly after that night I gained feelings for you. But it felt like that wasn't something you wanted. I thought I would still want Myra at the end of our fake relationship, but somewhere along the way, we grew close and I started to see who she really was, and who you really were too." His face deepens in color. "I really started to get used to being with you and I started to really like our dynamic and our relationship. . ."

"You started to have real feelings soon after that night at the pier?"

"Yes," Travis nods. "But leading up to the beach party, you started to withdraw from me. I meant what I said about Myra and I never getting back together, and the two of us staying together, but you made it clear that we were strictly business—its like you kept pushing for our relationship to stay fake and you kept anticipating our breakup. So I never said anything. I thought that I had to be in a relationship with Myra because that's what our agreement was, thats what you kept pushing for."

My chest hurts and I mentally beat myself up for seeming so stupid. I didn't dare to hope, here he is admitting that he felt the same, and it was me who helped him make the greatest mistake of our relationship.

"Myra asked me to choose, and I chose you. I was going to apologize to Myra—I don't even know what for—but she twisted it. Made us seem like I chose her." He says. "And I went with it. Because I was scared that, when it really came down to it, you truly didn't have feelings for me. I got back with her because you kept pushing for me and her to get back together, so I never thought. . ."

"I'm so sorry," I look away, ashamed. "When I first felt feelings for you, the night of the first party and our first kiss...I was so scared too," I tell him.

My breathing becomes shaken. His does too.

"I thought that I was making a mistake because when the fake relationship would end, I would have to watch you and Myra be together and my heart would be broken. It was too much for me to handle."

"That's why you were withdrawing from me?" He asks.

"Yeah," I look at him. "I never meant to hurt you, or for you to feel like you needed to be in a relationship with Myra. I just didn't let myself dare to dream for us to be in a real relationship."

"Well, guess what," He smiles as he reaches out and cups my chin.

"What?" I start to smile.

"I have't been able to sleep for the past seven days," he whispers.

"Really?"

"You know what they say, you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

I look into his blue eyes and sigh. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay, I never meant to hurt you either."

All I can do is stare. Reality better than dreams. He gives me a small smile and then closes his eyes and leans in. His lips brush mine softly. Softer than my first kiss. Softer than our kiss.

Softer than our first kiss.

But then it changes as I kiss him back. It has been too long. So long. Too, too, long. The kiss changes gears and becomes passionate and longing and quick. We long for each other. It has been too long and now, it feels like our time. Our time.

We move quickly as if we do not act now, than the other will leave without either saying what needs to be confirmed. But what is being shared shows perfectly enough. We are enough. We are passionate and loving and sweet with each other. Like two halves, we are better together—finally, really, together.

:) the end