Faking It

Edited: 18

"Katie, oh my gods-!" Miranda and Railynn burst into the cabin.

"We heard what happened-breathe, Katie," Railynn sits at the foot of my bed, her eyebrows knit together in concern.

Sobs wrack my body. Railynn demonstrates slow breaths for me, but it doesn't quite work.

"You guys really broke up? Myra just swooped in and get fell for it?" Miranda shakes her head. She holds me.

"We're-Over-" I manage through gasps. "He-Stoll-"

"Is this what you guys were arguing about before the party?"

I nod. He was meant to end up with her. That was the goal. Gods, I had not idea it would hurt this much.

Railynn soothingly strokes my hair as I cry into Miranda's hug.

Gods, I'm so stupid. I have no one else to blame but myself. It's all my damn fault that I'm feeling like this. I shouldn't have let myself get comfortable. I should never have let myself crush on him. I should have stopped it all before we were in too deep.

My breathing increases and my sobs grow my painful.
Railyn tries the breathing exercise again. Slowly my sobs ebb away into a more manageable breathing pace.

"What do you need, Kates?" Miranda asks. "Food? Any snacks? Something to drink?"

"Maybe you should go spend some time at your dad's?" Railynn offers. "I know that visiting mine always makes me feel better."

"No-I can't." I shake my head. "Everyone will think I'm too weak-they'll say-"

"Forget what people will say-what do you need?"

"I need to not feel like this."

"Break ups are going to hurt, Katie, with time you'll feel better." Miranda rubs my back. This break up shouldn't have hurt at all. I knew that he was going to be her boyfriend again. Why didn't I just control my emotions better? Why did I let this all happen?

I close my eyes. "I don't want time. I need it now."

"We know," Railynn sighs. "Come on. We can sneak a sleepover tonight can't we?"

I nod again.

"Let's get ready for bed."