Best I Ever Had (Iwaoi) [CANCELLED]

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

For the first time when Oikawa was with Iwaizumi, the night had become unbearably long. This was unlike any other. He got used to the ravages of time being unreasonably fast whenever he was with him. He got used to the feeling of longing for more whenever another day would end, and they'd have to separate from the other. This night was different.

The drive was quiet, and it seemed to last forever. Oikawa would've appreciated it if it was any other night, but it wasn't. Neither he nor Iwaizumi dared speak in the long minutes that passed. Oikawa just nuzzled his head against the car's window. His face expressionless as flashbacks of what happened back in the lake swarmed his mind.

He felt so many emotions at once, so many feelings to deal with. They were constricted in a hazy bundle, but one was too powerful for him to make out. He felt regret. Not just regret, but deep regret. He suddenly wished that he was gifted with the ability to manipulate time.

For someone like him who lived by the principle that everything happens for a reason his whole life, he suddenly wanted to turn back time. He suddenly wanted to take everything back.

He wished he hadn't said anything about his feelings, no matter how overpowering they were, he'd try to keep them at bay. But he didn't. He failed to keep them to himself. And now, he was suffering the consequences.

I don't feel the same way.

Six words that cut his heart open like a newly-sharped dagger. Six words that made his ego and pride crumble to dust. He felt anger surging through his veins.

What did all those display of affection mean then? What did the kiss a few nights ago mean? Oh, the kiss! It was always about that kiss. It was the kiss that had made him realize the vague string of feelings he felt inside him. It was that kiss that made him think Iwaizumi felt the same way.

But he didn't. It was all clear to him now. The kiss, the display of affection, they were nothing. He was just too friendly, and it was Oikawa who mistook his gestures.

It was all clear to him now. The love he had been fighting for was a battle he lost long before it had even started.

It was all clear to him now. Iwaizumi would never look at him the way he did to him. Now that it had come to this, he couldn't help but hate himself. He made a fool out of his every being, a laughingstock of all that he was and ever will be.

How did it even cross his mind that Iwaizumi would reciprocate his feelings? Oh he wasn't into gays. He was a man! He wanted girls, longed for girls who would not only warm his sheets, but also give him children that would carry his name.

The night sky stretched until his eyes could go above them. Unlike earlier, the stars had disappeared and so was the glowing moon. Rain had started pouring, drumming against the car's windows. He stared outside long enough that he didn't notice the stream of tears that cascaded down his cheeks.

He felt rejected. And he found the feeling totally alien. He wasn't used to being rejected, hadn't been rejected his whole life. He was Oikawa fucking Tooru, gods be damned.

But as they say, there would always be a time for firsts, and this was his.

"This isn't the way to my place." He said gruffly, not daring to look at Iwaizumi's way even for a single second.

Iwaizumi whirled towards Oikawa, the corners of his lips drifting downward. "I thought you were going to spend the night at my place?"

"I don't remember saying that."