I'm Not Crazy

~18~ My Brothers Keeper

"The first casualty in any war is the truth."  Gaius Cornelius Tacitus

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"...and that's pretty much all I know." Billy finishes off telling the twisted tale of what happened while I was away taking a break from my reality. 

The truth about how Billy and Stevie, figured out Dillon Taylor was the nail that needed to get hammered. Then with the help of Tommy of all people, put the strongarm on "Silly Dilly" to get my father's wings back. How Stevie blackmailed Brandi with some really disturbing lies about her unhealthy home life. Which truth be told, was quite frankly was the least unbelievable thing about this entire saga of stupidity.

So I just sit still and absorb the totality of all the random acts of bullshit in between that have gone into how I arrived at this point in my life? There are so many holes filled in now, and so many more opening up in front of my eyes. Starting with why would my so-called ex-friendlies do that to me in the first place?

Was this all some sick sad joke, just to make me have a mental meltdown? And why would any of the Crazy boys give a crap in the first place? Other than Stevie, I have always assumed the rest of the Crazy boys only barely tolerated me as extra baggage that came along with my mother, into a maybe marriage?

"Okay, I'll never not believe you again." I firmly resolve to accept the insanity. "But only if can you promise me that you will never lie to me? Or hide something seriously important like this from me again? Please?"

Billy juts his chin out, rocking his jaw side to side while clearly contemplating the consequences of my request. Finally, he turns looks me straight in the eyes, searching for something that is probably not there anymore. What little is left of my sanity in the aftermath? Apparently, he finds some semblance of what he is searching for in my broken brain, so he slowly nods in agreement.

"Okay, I swear." He intones with all the gravitas of the grave.

"Thank you," I accept his word at face value. "And I promise to do the same."

After a heartbeat, he slowly smiles his savage smile, apparently satisfied I am being real with him. Either that or he thinks that trying the truth out for a change, will result in even more random acts of violence? Either way, I will take this new truth-telling pact as now set in stone.

"Those were a couple of pretty sweet bitch slaps you threw out there in the hallway." He mugs his approval at my new violent ways.

"Thanks, I think?" I frown up at the hulking boy, trying to figure out if he is making fun of me or not.  

"Had you made a right tight fist, you might have even knocked that little bitch-boy out cold." He chortles along malevolently. "Damn but that would have been something to see? Bitch-ass Dillhole KO'ed out by a ninety-eight-pound girl, then kicked to death in the bone-an-stones. Fucking-A-classic."

Billy smiles savagely, and heaven help me I smile right back. Because I think that really would have been something to see. Me knocking out a boy, and then ending his ability to breed with a couple of coup de grâce kickball kicks to the stones. My magic hand drifts up to recheck again on my wings again. Which are thankfully hanging right where they are supposed to be on my new gangsta chain.  

I really have wonder what my dad would say about all this, if he knew what I just did? Knowing my father, he probably would have asked the obvious.

"Are you crazy getting into a fight at school...with a boy?" 

But now I would have tell him, "Yeah daddy, I think I just might be Crazy after all. Why are you watching me? Are you a Ghost or an Angel?"