I'm Not Crazy

~39~ The Chemical Romance of Jinni and the Devil.

Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Tainted Love ~Marilyn Manson

😈😈😈

Standing in my bathroom staring into the mirror darkly, at the crazy chick smiling slyly back at me. I am struck by how much I've changed since I last really saw myself. And I really have to wonder, how much further she still has to go to get to a happier place? Which brings up a crazy thought, how does one become happy with someone, when you are not happy with yourself?

"Jinni do you mind if I ask you something personal?" I turn on Jinni, who has been sitting on the edge of the tub eyeing me, probably looking for signs of life.

"Sure, but no guarantees I will tell you the truth." She shrugs. "I do like to keep the mystery that is me mysterious. If you get my drift?"

Oh yeah, gotta love this girl for her honesty.

"You and Tommy, how did that start? I mean I can sorta see what it is, and I can clearly see where it's headed." Straight to hell, I mentally add. "But how did you two start up? One day, did you just look at Tommy and say, dammit I want that devil and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks? Or did it happen over time? Like he wore you down like radiation?"

"Little of both, little of neither?" She eyes me sideways and smirks. "I don't know Sammi, are you sure you're old enough to hear this story?"

"Maybe?" I wince. Which I guess satisfies her age requirement to get let into the horror show that is these two sick twists.

"Well, let's see?" She leans back into the wall and ponders her tale of woe, about how she ended up consorting with the Devil himself.

"When I first met Tommy it was about two girlfriends ago before Psycho Suzie. So maybe Jaden?" Jinni muses but then starts snickering meanly. "Yeah, it had to be Jaden? Shit some of her other personalities were super nice."

"Anyways, so sadly I knew Jaden a little bit from here and there?" Jinni starts slowing filling in the Devils details. "She was one of those cause chicks. The kind of girl that needed to have reasons to feel better about her own bullshit. Like feed the homeless, save the blue whales, and saving Suri? You know, those kinds of lost causes? So for whatever reason, I guess she thought Tommy needed some saving too?"

We both snort and roll our eyes at that particular bit of insipidness. Primarily because Tommy is about the least savable excuse for a person I've ever met in my entire life. Not to mention an incorrigible deviant Devil. Who dares you to care, then laughs his ass off after you trick yourself into trying.

"Back then Tommy was just coming into his own high school wise. With football, baseball, bullshit parties and generally just fucking off." She frowns out at slightly at some errant thought. "I think that was the first year he made the Tri-Valley All-Star team for baseball?"

"So at the end of the year, they had this banquet thing. In order to hand out the Golden Jockstrap Awesomeness Awards for Total Athletic Assholes." Jinni waves that thought away easily enough. "So my girlfriend Leanne swims super fast and won some races. So we end up getting invited to this All-Star banquet bullshit. After which we somehow end up at the obligatory after pool party from hell at Junior Kahale's house. Which let me tell you was an eye-opening experience in so many ways, to say the least."