cinq

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el smiled, winding her way down the hall to speech therapy. she liked it, learning how to talk and to understand people.

"hi," el quietly said, looking up at the counselor.

"ready to start?" the counselor, ms. fortier, asked.

"mhm," el nodded. the hour and a half passed, and el learned more verbs and subjects. she skipped her way to the bathroom in the math wing, closing the door. she ran to the handicapped stall, opening it and closing that door. the quotes were starkly visible against the cool pale tiles. she touched one of them, imagining the wall at the end of the year, soon to be filled with quotes.

"el?"

"mike?" she questioned, turning to look at the door.

"i'm here," he replied as she unlocked the stall.

"quote?"

"umm, in the end, you only regret the chances you didn't take," mike said and leaned in to press a small kiss to her cheek.

"perfectly imperfect," el replied, writing her quote on the wall.

"i don't know," mike suddenly added.

"don't know?"

"don't know why i bother with bullies. they never will stop. they will never leave me alone. i'll never be free of them."

"it'll be okay," el half-heartedly replied. mike stepped closer.

"i can hear it in your voice, i can see it in your eyes, i can feel your heart beating faster. you're lying." el gulped, stepping back. mike stepped back, closing his eyes. "it's okay. there's nothing you can do, and i don't want you to feel like you need to protect me. i don't want you to protect me because okay," mike paused. "i don't want you to save me."

"but trouble."

"no."

"trouble. bad," el persisted, tugging on his arm.

"maybe sometimes, we have to embrace the darkness."

"no," el whispered, letting go of his arm and backing away.

"el, i'm sad right now. when i'm sad, it gets bad. please, just, just give me some time."

el nodded, wiped her tears from her eyes, and ran out of the bathroom. she fled to the other bathroom in the english building. she locked the door and collapsed into a stall, sobbing. el hit the door, dissolving into a mess.

how sad, she thought. how very sad.

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