My Crazy Ex: I Love My Wife

TEN

March 20th
RIHANNA POV
The countdown to the album was on.

To tell the truth, most of what I wanted for the album was done. It had been done for months now. But when it came to my music, I was a perfectionist.

I would work and work on one song until it was perfect. Then I would listen to it over and over until I hated it. Then the process would begin again. I probably had three or four hit singles, they just weren't enough for me.

But I could wait around any longer.

Diamonds was already topping the charts. It was the first actual single I released for the album.

I had finalized Nobody's Business, Diamonds, and a song I had titled What Now to be on the album.

I was waiting on four other artists to send me their vocal parts for some other songs I wanted to go on as well. But I was pretty sure only two of them would make it on the album.

Now my job was to get as much promo and publicity out to gain traction for my next single.

My fan base was eating it up. They'd been so loyal to me in my absence. Now it was all going to pay off for them.

"Mom."

I looked up to see Majesty standing in front of me on the patio, her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.

She and Royalty had been playing outside out of sight for awhile. I could hear them laughing and giggling so I wasn't worried.

"Maj."

"Dizzy and Ro won't play with me." She pouted.

"Why not?" I asked.

"B'cuz Dizzy said I gots ta choose b'tween you or him. And I can't be mean to you Mommy. So I choosed you. So Ro won't play with me anymore."

I would correct her on her grammar later.

"Dizzy isn't real, baby."

"Yes he is, Mommy. I seeded him with my own eyes. He's big and tall like you." She cried climbing up in my lap.

"Maj, you could not have seen him because he isn't real." I helped her up trying to get her to understand.

"Yes I did! When Daddy and Dia are busy, Dizzy plays with us outside." She pushed.

"Dizzy is only real because you believe he is. He's like Sant- ... he's like the boogeyman. You see him because you believe he's there and you believe he exists." I explained.

"So RoRo is just mean? Why don't she like me?" Maj frowned.

"Your sister loves you. She's just mad at me right now so she's being mean to everyone." I kissed her forehead and gave her a light squeeze for reassurance. "Remember on Halloween when you ate all that candy even though I said no and your tummy hurt really bad? Remember how mean you were because you didn't feel good?"

She nodded.

"That's how Royalty feels. Mommy gave her a bad tummy ache so she's being mean."

Her brows furrowed once more. "Why you did that to her?"

"Mommies and daddies make mistakes sometimes. We mess up, but we apologize and work to fix what we did."

It felt like Royalty was already out of my grip. She was harboring so much anger towards me. I had been a bad mother but I hadn't abused her. I had been a drunk and I had been careless and neglectful, but I had given my daughters love.

Except for three instances I had been the mother I always was. There was no reason for her to be as angry as she was.

But even still I was determined to make it work. Royalty deserved a good mother. She deserved to be happy. Both of my girls did.

"Maybe we should leave."

"And just where would we go little girl?" I laughed tickling Maj.

"Dizzy lives here too. If we don't let him in the car then he can't come with us and make Ro be mean to me."

"I think getting away is a great idea." Chris said, placing his hands on my shoulders from behind me. "I was thinking about taking a trip.. I've already started planning it actually. I got with India to make sure it fits your schedule."

"Yay!" Maj said jumping out of my arms and running over to find her sister.

Chris leaned down behind me wrapping his arms around me and kissing along my neck. "I want to work on our marriage. I want you to really be able to reach out to me."

"I want that too. I love you and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm going to take the girls over to my moms for a few hours but when I come back..."

I didn't need to see his face to know that he had his classic wicked smirk plastered all over it.

"I'll be waiting for you." I teased.

"I know you will be."

As he headed back around the house to gather the girls, I couldn't help but thank God for bringing him back to me.

I wasn't stupid. Even though Chris had told me that he had been faithful to me, I knew he hadn't. I couldn't blame him so I was trying to work through the issues myself. It was my own fault for driving him away.

But I did thank him for keeping it low key. There weren't any tabloids or blogs running stories of him cheating or having girls submit stories about sleeping with him.

Even though he cheated on me, he didn't have me looking stupid in front of the whole world.

... just in front of the mirror.

Was that truly better or worse?

I pushed the thoughts from my mind as I headed down into my studio. It was the only place Chris and I agreed that we could smoke.

I messed around for a few minutes with some lyrics before putting a song I was working on on a loop before pulling out a joint I rolled the other day.