The Path to Victurri (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

When I'm gone

VPOV

I watched Yuri, as he went through my cupboards and pantry looking for things to bake with. I have missed him in ways that I hadn't even noticed before.

I've missed his smell, the curve of his neck, the way he moved so gracefully when he walked, even the feel of his arms around my waist.

It hurts to look at him for too long now, knowing that this is just temporary. That he'll be gone sooner than later.

Tears had been threatening to spill over, ever since I saw Yuri standing at my door earlier, they were very close to doing so now. They stung the back of my eyes, now as I was watching his back, my chest started aching with sadness again.

Yuri turned around with his mouth open, probably to ask me something, but instead, when he looked at me, he rushed over to where I was sitting. "V-Victor! What's wrong? A-are you ok? What do you need from me?" Yuri asked in a concerned voice.

...t-that voice is so upset... why? Why is he upset? Is Yuri mad at me again? Is... is he going to leave me alone again? Am I.... going to be all alone with no one to care about me again..? I thought.

Then the tears started up again.

This time, though, they were 20 times worse than before. The sobbing shook my entire body with a violent force. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. That last thought threw me over the edge of being able to control myself. 

YPOV

That expression on Victor's face hurt.. it hurt like hell. My heart throbbed with a horrible sadness, that made me want to cry. I knew that this was all my fault.

I-I've made him like this.. it's all my fault. I have to help him... I have to help Victor..

I practically ran over to Victor's side, wanting to throw my arms around him, to protect him from all the bad things in this world, but I restrained myself. I knew that if I even touched him, something would go horribly wrong. I just tried to calm him down a bit.. just to keep him from going over the edge, but that didn't work.

The sobs that raked through Victor's body, shook me as well. It was a horrid sound, something from my nightmares coming to haunt me in my waking hours. I didn't know what to do.. should I try to comfort him? Should I kiss him? What do I do?

"V-Victor? Please stop crying. Please.. I don't like seeing you like this a-and I would be so happy to see you smile again..." I said trailing off at the end.

Victor squinted at me for a moment, "you don't have any right to tell me what to do anymore!" Victor snapped at me. "And I'm sure you don't Iike seeing me like this, you love it! This is all you fault Yuri! I came to you! I wanted to help you! Then the minute I want something more than this.. useless, stupid life, I get kicked in the butt!" Victor yelled at me, fury in both his eyes and voice.

I was shocked for a moment, but only a moment. "...I-I know. This.... this is all my fault." I whispered, hanging my head so I didn't have to look at Victor. "I-I regret the past 4 months more than anything. I-I miss you Victor.. I'm so sorry... about everything." 

VPOV

Why... why am I so angry? Why can't just say that I love him? Why can't I say that I love Yuri? I don't want to yell at him like this! I love him! Is.. is he mad at me? Is he leaving now? Am I already alone... forever?

I suddenly felt Yuri's arms wrap around my waist, but it was too soon. I wasn't stable enough for him to touch me yet.

I squirmed around in his arms trying to break free from Yuri's grip, but I couldn't.