The Summer Before Senior Year

Seth

PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM. THANK YOU xx

Whenever I'm sad, I talk to Riley. She's the first person I go to before anyone else. She's like a journal I have that I can tell everything. But in cases like these, it was definitely not easy.

If I had a couple of drinks I wouldn't take enough to get me drunk. If I had a club full of girls, I wouldn't talk to them long enough to ask for their names or share mine with them. Sometimes, it's really amazing how one single damn person could make you feel the best way in the world and make you feel oh-so-fucking shit as well. How one person could wield that amount of power over you, crazy but painful. Love is giving power. Love is a lot of crap. But love could really fuck you up if you were like me.

I was hurting so damn much and I could swear that Riley didn't care. I think it was a front to make her prove her point to me. She could be that extra but I adored her no matter what. Because of this fucked-up phenomenon called love, I managed to get out of all the activities for the day. I mean come on! How could you hear the most heart-wrenching things from someone you care about so deeply and continue to act like everything was right with the world? Call me a drama queen or whatever but Riley made me weak. I couldn't be tough around her. For her? Most definitely. But I had no idea how to put up a front when it came to her. 

I had managed to tune my mind to watch reruns of Friends on my laptop when Skye came in.

"Spill the beans, Winters." she ordered but why was it that I was so sad?

"She hates me. I don't even know why."

Pause.

"She think I'm lying about Edgars."

An even longer pause.

"And it hurts so fucking much that I'm in love with her because I can't get over her and I can't have her."

She came over and put my laptop on my bedside table and sat in front of me.

"Seth, life's a bitch."

I laughed humorlessly.

"You think I don't know that already?" I asked a little too harshly.

"You know what I need Skye?"

"I'm listening."

"Great, amazing Italian food." she laughed a bit.

"Get dressed Winters. Let's go talk to Riley." she said.

"You don't know her like I do. When she's pissed, she's really pissed." I half-smiled at a memory of a fight we had. It was spring break this year and we were walking back from the beach one day. I think PMS hit her really hard that month because she was super cranky. We were having an argument of sorts and - I swear I meant it as a joke - I told her that guys would never be into her if her boobs weren't pretty and she got pretty pissed but I was laughing thinking she'd get the joke but she stomped off in anger leaving me on the beach. I called and texted but she kept hanging up after the first few rings to avoid, and I quote, a whole load of bullshit in her voicemail. This went on for a couple of days before I decided to apologize properly to her because I knew I was at fault.

I narrated this moment to Skye which made her look at me in a sad way - more like pity.

"God please, do not look at me that way." I said to her.

"What way?"

"You're pitying me. Do not pity me, I don't want it, really."

"Anything you say then." she punched my arm lightly.

There was a moment of silence before she started pestering me to go talk to Riley before I went to sleep but I kept saying no till she got irritated.