The Summer Before Senior Year

Riley

There were so many things I expected to feel after Seth had said no to kissing me but none of them could compare to how heartbroken I was. I knew our friendship was strong but couldn't it be more? I wanted more but I was so afraid because I couldn't hold him down for a good amount of time. He'd eventually get bored and move on, leaving me heartbroken. That's just the way he is. He was probably pissed that people saw more into our relationship - no friendship - than it actually was. But one thing was for sure: I was going to find out why he didn't want to kiss me.

As soon as I left the room, I thought of everywhere else he could be - he could be getting wasted, grinding with some ugly bimbo (don't judge my choice of words) or worst of all screwing some stupid thing at a corner in the living room. But when I went downstairs, he was nowhere to be seen. I know it was dark but I'd recognize that mop of dark curls anywhere I went.

When I realized he wasn't actually on the makeshift dance-floor, it dawned on me that he'd be on the balcony on the topmost floor. I took the stairs two at a time till I got to the balcony where I saw him hunched over on a bar-stool, twisting his phone on the counter.

"Why did I know you'd come for me?" he asked as I made my way over to him.

"Because you've known me my entire life." I threw his words back at him, nudging him.

When he didn't reply or laugh or do anything for that matter, I decided to take a step into the world of the unknown. This could either go really badly or really fantastic; two extremes but I was willing to find out.

"Why didn't you kiss me back there?" I asked sitting beside him.

"Why do you wanna know?" he replied flatly.

"Don't answer a question with a question."

"Would it suffice to say I didn't want to?"

Are you fucking kidding me?

"No," I gritted my teeth, "try again Winters."

"I didn't want to." he said fixing those stormy grey eyes on me. "And if you don't believe it, you can get out."

Okay he'd pissed me off now. First, he was lying to me about not wanting to kiss me and now he was blowing me off? If that wasn't fucked up, I don't know what is. It doesn't even help that I'm hurting because I'm not enough for him.

"I get it. I'm not your usual dumb bimbo." I started, my voice getting louder with each sentence. "But don't you dare lie to me about it and then blow me off when a couple of days ago you were gonna kiss me!"

"But you ran away. I changed my mind." he said, deadly quiet.

I was shouting now because dammit, I wanted to know. I didn't care about this mystery girl of Seth, I just wanted to know why he didn't have feelings for me.

"JUST FUCKING TELL ME! Why? Is it about your mystery girl or is it - "

I never got to finish that sentence because right then and there Seth kissed me. I didn't realize at that exact moment but once I did, I kissed him back with as much fervor as he did. It was a little uncomfortable because we were beside each other but he picked me up and set me on the counter while he was standing between my legs.

This was such a major upgrade from kissing fish (Caleb) and Logan and I wanted more. I slipped my tongue into his mouth when it was a little open and he allowed me free access letting our tongues dance with each other when he grunted and I could swear that it was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard. He pulled away and began kissing my neck, sucking and nipping here and there while I pulled at the hair at the nape of his neck and gave him more access. His left hand stayed firmly on my waist while his right had let the bun on my hair loose, running his fingers through it but unlike some people I know, I wasn't okay with this. I wanted Seth to touch me but he was taking the gentleman approach.