we don't talk anymore

last session.

you guys are so nice omg

"ty." josh mumbles. i ignore him, writing down the notes for the upcoming test. josh has his hand on my knee, staring at me and begging for my attention.

"ty please it's important." he whines. i bite my bottom lip, writing faster. josh brings his hand up to my mid-thigh. he traces circles on the inner part of my thigh and slowly inches his way up.

"josh." i warn, not looking at him. he rests his head on my shoulder, looking up at me. the teacher keeps going on about physics and scribbling on the board too fast for any student to keep up.

josh rests his fingers dangerously close to where he shouldn't be. my hand starts to shake and i find it hard to write. i pull his hand down back to my knee but in seconds he's back to where he was earlier.

"ty." he whines, dragging out the 'y'. i hear the class bell go off and i quickly put my stuff together and walk out of the room. i go to my locker, throwing my books in, slamming it, and stomp off to lunch.

minutes later, ashley sits next to me, nudging my shoulder. "hey man, what's up?" she asks, running a hand through her short hair. i smell cigarette smoke off her immediately.

"getting ready to yell at josh."

"why, what did he do?" she asks, curious and taking a bite of her sandwich.

"he was teasing me all last class." i grumble. she bursts out into laughter, wiping at her eyes after a few minutes. i roll mine, and take a bite from my own sandwich.

"speak of the devil." she mutters. just as the words leave her mouth, josh sits across from me, smirking.

"hey guys, what's-"

"joshua william dun! you can't tease me like that in physics, are you crazy?" i shout at him, people look over and jenna slides in next to me.

"someone's grumpy." she says. i glare at her and the three of them laugh.

"sorry baby."

"i hate you." i reply to josh, not looking at him. he's silent for a moment and then goes, "you're a liar."

"you can't do that you jerk."

"i'm sorry." after the words leave his mouth, melanie, patrick, and pete sit at the table. melanie next to jenna, and pete and patrick at josh's side.

"where's brendon?" pete asks.

"he's with some guy named ryan, the one he never shuts the fuck up about." pete says with a mouthful of pizza.

josh plays with his nose ring and looks at his food, yawning. mark sits next to patrick, throwing a packet of oreos into the middle of the table. josh immediately grabs them, trying to open them but failing.

i gently take them from him and open them, "calm down, joshy." he blushes and nods his head.

"yeah, joshy." ashley mocks. i shove her and she bursts out into laughter. she goes on about a story of the time her friend got in a fight while they were smoking but i don't pay much attention. josh grabs my hand from across the table, holding it and tracing patterns on my knuckles with his fingertips.

"you don't really hate me right?" he asks. i shake my head.

"i didn't mean that."

"okay."

|-/

"hey tyler." my therapist greets me, his crooked teeth smiling at me. i give him a small smile and mumble a 'hello'. i hate this place, his office smells like something was just recently burnt and they tried to febreze the room. the lobby smells like spilt orange juice that stuck to a counter, it makes me gag everytime i walk in.

"how have you been?" he asks, looking through a file.

"fine."

"how are you and josh?" he asks, not paying attention.

"still dating." i say. he puts down the piece of paper and writes something in his notepad.

"are you comfortable in the relationship?" he asks. i furrow my eyebrows, what does he mean?

"um, yeah." i state. he nods.

"sorry, i just thought you two hated each other."

"i never said that, i said he hated me." i growl. he shakes his head, saying that's not what he remembers.

"you know, for a therapist you're a terrible listener." i snap. he looks at me, eyebrows raised. he acts like i never said that.

"so why are you two dating then?"

"he hated, past tense, hated me. or so i thought. do you understand?" i say, wanting this session to end. i would walk out now, but i don't want to waste my mother's money.

he writes down a few notes in his notebook and looks at me for a few seconds, studying me.

"you're not happy with everything right now are you tyler?" he asks. i laugh, bitter and frustration going through my veins.

"i'm actually the happiest i've ever been. the only thing that doesn't make me happy is the fact i waste an hour of my time every week talking to someone, a therapist, who doesn't even do his job right! all you do is write a few words down and barely listen, and my family pays so much for it, so much for all this bullshit! this bullshit that we don't even need!" i shout at him, everything coming off my chest at once. i glare at him and then the clock.

"i'm sorry you feel that way, tyler." he says, pity laced in his voice.

"no you're not. you're only saying that. shut up, just shut the fuck up." i yell.

"he's gonna leave." he warns.

"he did once, and i let it happen. but i won't let it happen again."

he looks at me and then the clock. he opens his mouth as if he's about to say something, but i kick his table and send water spilling everywhere. his notepad and several files soak up the water and coffee, some even gets on his lap.

"fuck you." i stomp out of the room and out of the building.

and i promise never to come back.