we don't talk anymore

48 hours.

"josh. josh, i need to talk to you." i say, grabbing his shoulder. he pushes my hand off and walks past me without looking at me once. i felt as though i was punched in the stomach, i look down and walk to my next class.

2 hours later.
"josh, are you riding the bus today?" i ask him, desperate to make conversation with him. he nods and walks faster. i catch up with him, "can i sit with you?"

"don't talk to me. leave me alone." he blankly states, looking me in the eyes with a cold stare and turns around to walk with his friend. i bite my lip and look at the cracked tile in the hallway, people passing me and some look at me with pitying glances, some are amused glances. i rush into the men's bathroom, making sure it's empty and let out a sob as i enter a stall.

i can't breathe, i can't think, i can't do anything. i can't remember what i did to make josh hate me so much, just 48 hours ago we were laughing and watching a movie. now he refuses to even look at me. i hear the door open and cover my mouth immediately. i hear snickering and whispering.

"i wonder what he did to make josh hate him so much?" a high voice asks. i i bite my lip, pressing my palms into my forehead to try and reduce the throbbing pain in my head.

"not sure. josh used to be crazy about him, maybe he caught him making out with his mom or something."

"he's gay, brendon."

"then his dad."

"brendon!" the high voice shrieks. the other boy, brendon i presume, just laughs and i hear the door close as their laughs fade out. it's silent again, and i open the stall door and walk over to the sink. my eyes are red and bloodshot, but they already were all day.

a guy a year older than me walks in with terribly dyed blonde hair and a black shirt accompanied with ripped lightwashed jeans and black converse.

"you okay?" he asks as soon as he lays eyes on me. i quickly nod.

"just a migraine." i tell him. he winces and gives me an apologetic glance,

"those are the worst."

|-/

as bad as i want to hate josh and beat him up and let him know how bad he hurt me, i don't. i love him, i love him so much but he clearly doesn't feel the same. i wish he did.

i hear the schoolbell ring and walk out of my class in a hurry to go home, as i walk towards my locker i bump into someone. as soon as i'm about to apologize i hear a deep voice say, "fucking watch it."

i don't look up, i just nod and continue walking. i feel a harsh push on my back, making me fall forward.

"cunt." the voice mumbles. my eyes burn as my vision clouds with tears and i hear laughter and yelling in the distance, but i only focus on the ringing in my ears.

i'm just gonna post the rest of the chapters and finish it