November Song

Chapter 5 - Feelings

Feelings

I can't believe I allowed him to kiss me not once but twice. That was my first kiss. Could he tell? Was he disappointed? I've heard he's only been with experienced girls. Was I enough for him? What the hell am I thinking. I don't have time for this. I have too much on my plate as is to even contemplate starting anything with Luke Song. He was the headmaster's son for crying out loud. One false move and I could be thrown out on my ass. I couldn't allow it.

I agreed to go to his studio with him. What was I thinking? I pulled on my hair dramatically. I needed the pain the bring me back to my senses.

"Why are you ripping out your hair? Was it that bad?"

"Huh?"

"Your date with Luke Song. Was it that bad?"

"It wasn't a date."

"Yeah, sure."

Samantha didn't look convinced but she didn't press the issue. That was more worrying for me.

"He kissed me," I blurted out.

"Woah. Back up there a bit hun. He kissed you? Luke Song? Oh sh!t."

"What? What is it? Is that bad?"

"Just to be clear...he kissed you, you didn't initiate the kiss?"

"You're freaking me out."

She looked pensive for a minute. Her silence didn't look like a good sign. I was doomed. When she finally spoke it wasn't what I was expecting.

"I kissed Luke once."

"What?"

"He punched me in the face."

"Huh?"

"We were five."

She started laughing like a maniac. I didn't find it funny.

"Come on, you had to have found that a little funny. There was blood everywhere. You should have seen it. I think he broke my nose too."

"That's disgusting."

"So, why are you freaking out?"

"I'm not."

"November, you were about to make yourself go bald just now."

"I don't know."

I didn't want to share my time with Luke Song with Samantha. I know it sounds weird but I wanted to keep it to myself. That's why I didn't say anything about his invite to her. It felt special and I wanted to keep it that way.

I didn't see Luke for the rest of the week and weekend. I didn't know if I should be worried or not. It's not like he promised me anything. I did feel let down though. So much so that when Monday morning came around I could barely drag myself out of bed and ended up going to Professor Fernando's class half an hour late. There was nothing I could do but stand there and try not to cringe or cry while he shouted at me.