i'm addicted to you ⇨ jian

chapter tweleve

jc's pov

Me and Kian were about to have sex. What was wrong with me? This past week just..... 'I am not gay' I told myself looking back at myself in the mirror. I heard Trevor outside my door knocking to come in, but I told him no. I was ashamed in myself, how was I about to fuck my best friend? What was going through my brain? I mean, it was one thing to kiss him out of pleasure but, sex? That was going too far.

I put on the rest of my clothes, grabbed my keys and my phone and stormed out the door, past Trevor. I ran down the apartment hallway and into the elevator, I didn't stop running until I reached my car. I didn't know where I was going but, I had to leave.

I somehow found myself at a club downtown, I showed the bouncer my ID and he stepped aside for me to go past. This club was more high class than I anticipated, it was big with lots of colored lights shining everywhere. There were girls dancing on a stage and both men and women packed the club tightly. I pushed past a lot of people and finally reached my destination, the bar. I had to get Kian out of my mind somehow, and he wasn't going away without the help of alcohol.

"Sir, I think that's enough" the bartender said as I was downing my 11th shot. "Who are you to tell me?" I drunkenly spat at him. "It's just that this much alcohol that fast isn't good. You obviously have some problems and alcohol isn't your therapist." I looked at him disgusted. I tried to collect my thoughts but my drunken mind just told me to have more.

"I think you should go home" some man who was beside me spoke. "You don't understand" I heavily slurred my words.

The next morning I woke up surprisingly in my own bed. Then there was knocking, that must have been what had woken me up. "Yeah!" Kian came in with a nervous expression on his face. He sat on the edge of my bed. "Jc?" He quietly asked. I had this feeling that I hated, I just wanted it to go away, 'I'm not gay I like girls' I kept telling myself until I finally convinced myself that Kian was a mistake. "I want to know how you feel because, there's obviously feelings involved and I-" I cut him off. "Woah, woah, woah. There are no feelings at all Kian, I'm straight. I figured that out thanks to you, it was an experiment" I said harshly still trying to convince myself that was all it was. Kian looked hurt, really hurt. "O- oh" Kian slowly and quietly said before quickly getting up and running out of my room. I just looked around my mind spinning. 'I hurt Kian because he has feelings but I don't because I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight' all of those thoughts mushed into one. I was trying to still convince myself I was straight, Kian was hurt, he obviously thought more about it, Kian might be gay. I started to get a headache.

When did my life get so complicated?

Sorry for the short chapter! I promise the next will be longer and more interesting!