i'm addicted to you ⇨ jian

chapter eighteen

jc's pov

When I wake up, Kian was gone. It's dark outside and I roll over to check my phone, it's just after midnight. I guess I fell asleep after our fun earlier, and rightfully so, it was exhausting. We didn't actually get around to backdoor stuff, but we did pretty much everything else, and it was amazing.

Now that he was gone and I couldn't find myself tired whatsoever, I just lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, the memories of what had occurred earlier flushing back through my brain. I couldn't help but smile. It was wrong to feel this way, I knew that, but at the same time if something was wrong how could it feel so good?

Still smiling, I got up and headed to the bathroom. My reflection staring back at me was a mess, extreme sex hair still taking hold of me. I could see myself blush in the mirror and quickly untangled it with my fingers to be more presentable. Then I walked to the kitchen to try and find some food.

Kian wasn't out here, so I assume he's in his room. Sleeping, maybe? I'm not sure if he feels the same way I do, or maybe he regrets it. God, I hope he doesn't regret it because I find myself wanting to do it again. I open the fridge and scan it. Frowning, I close it again, I guess we have to go grocery shopping. For now I'll just order food. Before ordering I wonder if I should ask Kian if he wants some.

I walk to his room, lightly tapping on the door. When there's no answer, I knock again, a bit harder. Again, there's no reply, I can't even hear him in there. He must be sleeping. I slowly pop open the door, needing to be satisfied of seeing him sleeping. I couldn't live with just the unclear image my brain came up with.

But he wasn't in there. I walk in there, frowning, searching every corner. No, he wasn't anywhere. Should I text him? I wonder where he could have gone. I didn't want to be too clingy, maybe he needed some space after...earlier.

I tight knot formed in my stomach, maybe he did regret it. Maybe he didn't like it as much as I did. It's weird, though, he seemed to be enjoying it when we were doing it.

I leave his room, shutting the door behind me. Hesitantly, I order my food and wait. Even when I've fallen asleep for the night Kian didn't seem to come home...

I wake up, for the second time, and hear a strange sound outside of my room. I let myself wake up first and fully process what I'm hearing, but I can't put my finger on it. I get up, rubbing eyes and stretching, before heading to the bathroom to relieve myself. I drank and large coke last night without going to the bathroom before falling asleep.

When I open my door I'm shocked. A whiff of eggs and bacon and goodness hits my face. I sniff the air, letting the amazing smell drift through my body. I feel my stomach growl below me.

I walk forward and fully process what is happening. Kian Lawley is in the kitchen cooking. Kian. Cooking. I never thought I'd say those two things in the same sentence.

"Kian?" I mumble, rubbing my eyes some more. Kian looks away from the scrambled eggs he's stirring up below him and walks away from the stove towards me. He greets me with a kiss. I'm shocked at first, but I kiss him back.

When he pulls away I can feel myself blushing. Yesterday's memories flood through my head again.

"Morning," Kian smiles, heading back over to the array of pans cooking breakfast foods on the stove.

I smile a bit, "What...what are you doing?" I ask.

Kian smiles, still keeping his attention on the cooking in front of him. "Cooking us breakfast, silly." He lets out a small breath of laughter.

I shake my head, this must be a dream. "You, cooking? For both of us? What alternate reality did I wake up in? Where's the real Kian?" I joke.

Kian laughs along, "I am the real Kian. What? I'm not allowed to make breakfast for my..." he chokes on his own words, and a strange feeling floods through my body. He's going to say boyfriend. Am I his boyfriend? But instead he just clears his throat and corrects himself, "For us?" He finishes. His voice is still high in the air, like he never finished what he was going to say. But he doesn't say any more after that and turns back to his cooking.

I hastily take a seat at the table while Kian serves us each a plate, then he places it in front of me. "You're such a good wifey." I joke.

Kian playfully rolls his eyes. "You know it."

After that, we're both silent and digging into the plates of food Kian prepared for us. Surprisingly, it was good. Then again, how hard was it to fuck up eggs and pre-made hash-browns?

I try to hold back my smile the entire time at the table. So Kian wasn't upset about what we did after all. It's still strange though, I wonder where he went last night.

Just when I'm about to bring it up, Kian speaks first. "Are we filming today?" He asks. I nod, our conversation carries into filming ideas and Youtube and suddenly all thoughts and questions about where Kian was last night disappear.

When we're finished, I clean up the kitchen. Kian stands around, probably hoping I think he's helping, but I know him better than that. Kian hates cleaning even more than he hates cooking, and cooking an entire meal for two people was more than enough for him for one day.

Before filming, we decide to take about an hour or two just just relax. So I'm laying on my bed scrolling through Instagram, replying to fans on Twitter and listening to music through my Mac on my desk. I don't hear the door creak open over my music, but next thing I know, Kian is in my bed beside me.

He smiles at me, and not saying anything he presses his lips to mine. I don't fight it, and put my phone down on the bed beside me so I can cup his face with my hand. He smiles against my lips and I do the same.

It's so freeing, knowing that we don't have any obligations to not kiss, no girlfriends, no doubts about each other's feelings...

I'm still confused about what's going on, yes, but I can figure out those more complicated feelings later. All I know now is that I want to kiss Kian, and that's enough. I know he wants to kiss me too.

I stop worrying about the world, about my own thoughts and everyone else and just left myself melt into him, not thinking about anything but how his lips feel against mine. And damn do they feel good. I can feel the smoothness of his freshly applied chapstick on his lips, strawberry, I think.

We kiss for what seems like forever, but still so short at the same time. I want it to go on forever, but Kian reminds me we need to get filming. His voice is husky with lust and he doesn't seem to keen on going anywhere either. But we both know we have to, so we get up, Kian grabs my hand and we hear out to begin filming.