i'm addicted to you ⇨ jian

chapter sixteen

kian's pov

Meredith phoned me that night. Apparently she'd been at a shoot all day and couldn't check her phone, but she didn't hesitate to start yelling/crying after she explained that. She kept saying 'why? why? why?' but of course I couldn't tell her why, it would just make things so much worse than they already are.

The conversation ended with Meredith saying she was too tried to deal with this right now and that she needed to sleep, that we'd talk in the morning.

So was this it? Were we done? Or would she try to save our relationship in the morning? For now I decided that we were no longer a couple. I lied in bed, my thoughts stirring in my head. Now that I had shaken loose from Meredith did I go after Jc? How would that work? I was so tired, so done with all the complicated drama. I just wanted it to end, I just wanted to be happy with Jc.

I woke up what sunlight streaming through my windows. I was still in my clothes with my phone on my chest, I guess my thoughts had put me to sleep, my brain too tired to comprehend what I was dealing with.

I took a hot, steamy shower, got dressed then headed downstairs to find Jc cooking breakfast. "There you are," he laughed, "It's almost noon." He put a plate of eggs, hash browns and toast in front of me. I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, a lot going on. Meredith phoned me last night." I said digging into he plate of breakfast.

Jc immediately stopped serving his own plate, "Oh?" His eyebrows shot up. I just nodded, my mouth full of food. "And?" He continued serving his own plate. "Well she didn't seem too happy and said we'd finish our talk this morning, but she hasn't phoned me back yet." I shrugged.

"So you guys are done, temporarily I guess." He tried to sound casual but I could hear the small amount of excitement in his voice which made smile. "Yeah, and it's probably going to be permanent." The smile on both mine and his face grew until we both started laughing together. 

As if on cue, my phone started to ring. Meredith. We both stopped laughing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey." Her voice was vague on the other end. What should I say now? 'How's your morning been?'

"So, I thought about what you were saying last night, do you really want to break up?" I couldn't tell what the emotion was in her voice. I could sense sadness with something else. Something I couldn't identify.

I cleared my throat, "I think I'd be best." That was all I said. I couldn't tell her about me and Jc, not yet anyway.

The other line was silent for a long time. I could feel my guilt welling up in my throat. "Okay." She said. Her voice was small and I could tell she was trying not to cry. I closed my eyes, I had so many mixed emotions right now and sadness was one of them. I didn't want Jc to see that I was sad about this breakup. I didn't want to argue with him again.

I wasn't saying anything and I had completely taken myself out of the situation and lost in my head with what was going to happen next. What was going to happen with Jc? Was I ready? I was snapped back into reality when the sound of Meredith hanging up echoed in my ear.

I could feel Jc's eyes on me like lasers burning my retinas when I looked back at him. He didn't say anything, just continued to eat. By now I had lost my appetite and just sat there silently.

I could tell he wanted to say something but he knew that this wasn't the best time. "Are you done?" He asked referring to my plate of food.

I couldn't choke out any words so I just nodded my head and he retrieved the plate and brought it to the sink.

With his back to me, I got up and walked away.