"Oh, baby, senseless is a relative term."
⋆ in which a girl who ironically hates
change, meets a boy who ironically
endures pain to deal with a loss.
- angry!boxer!luke
highest rank: #655 in fan...
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Nightmares were simply something that plagued Luke like everyday casual problems. They usually didn't scare him enough to wake him up; they were more likely to make him panic, mostly because he was used to them at this point. But since his mind had been cluttering hellish thoughts like they were tokens of pride, he didn't react to them the same way. They also didn't keep the same idea behind them as they had before, which made the boy feel way more nervous than he ever had before. He woke up with his heart beating faster than it ever had and he glanced over at Nellie for reassurance from his dream. He ran his hands over his face as the girl slept soundly, her chest rising and falling softly.
Luke got up from the bed, the boy feeling his mind and heart running too quickly for him to keep up with as he stepped out of the room quietly. He felt like he needed to prove to himself that it would be okay, like he could do the little things his dream said he couldn't without hurting Nellie. So he stepped to her door and took her keys from the hook and left the apartment with his coat. He walked down the hall with a glare on his face and his hands shaking with anger as he stepped into the elevator. The lights inside it flickered gently as he shoved the keys in his pocket after they almost fell out of his hands too many times to count—which in the end only frustrated him.
When he stepped outside it was dark and the cold air touched his skin like daggers. He hated the feeling of it and he hated it even more when he sat in Nellie's car where it wasn't any warmer. He touched the steering wheel as his heart pounded against his chest, the boy shaking his head as the thought ate at him for it. Sounds flooded his ears and images flashed past his eyelids as he leaned his head against the steering wheel and started to cry.
He felt so guilty and so lost. He didn't want to ever hurt Jules. He didn't want to ever hurt Nellie either but a part of him felt like he was going to hurt her by still crying over Jules. He slammed his fist against the steering wheel as he started to sob. He hated the quiet, he hated thinking, he hated himself. He continued to there with tears rolling down his face before a sound next to him broke him from his thoughts.
"Pretty boy, open the door," Nellie said, sounding exhausted when she said it. He glanced at her after she said it, the boy unlocking the car doors before Nellie opened his door and looked at him. She shivered continuously as she stood there, Nellie giving him a concerned look as he held his hands on the steering wheel. His cheeks were stained with tears as he did this, the boy starting to shiver himself as Nellie touched the side of his face. He looked at her when she did this, Nellie's heart breaking as his bottom lip quivered.
"I'm sorry," Luke said. Nellie shook her head, holding his face in her hands gently as she looked at him in search for signs of him somehow hurting himself. He had no new injuries, simply tears running down his soft cheeks. He looked back at the steering wheel before he choked on a sob, Nellie trying to get him to look over at her again. "God, Nellie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Baby—"
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. You're not supposed to die because of me," he sobbed. Nellie looked at him as her chest ached, the boy still crying as he hit his fists against the steering wheel of the vehicle. Nellie shook her head before she pried his hands from the steering wheel. He shook his head when she did this, Nellie sitting on his lap as she closed the door next to her. Luke immediately started to panic at this, Nellie frowning at him as he touched parts of the car around him. His entire body shook with fear as Nellie watched him, the boy sobbing as he shook his head. "Nellie," he sobbed, "help me. Oh, god—please help me."
