"You're probably wondering where the girl is and what relation do I have with her." Hades spoke, getting out a cigarette and lighting it, taking a deep drag of tobacco before letting out a huff of smoke.
"No, I'm wondering if you're as much as a prick since the last time I saw you." I said with sarcasm dripping off every word. It was one thing I had learnt from humans but found no need to use such cheap wit until this moment. To talk to an idiot is to use the language of idiots.
Hades laughed but it wasn't filled with genuine humor and instead sounded bleak and disbelieving. For all the years and centuries I have known Hades, I knew that he was not one to laugh nor smile for he had no use for such mundane pleasures.
"That's funny! Real funny-" He stood before me and gave me one sharp punch as I gagged at the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. He cracked his knuckles and stretched his neck, a sickly grin spreading across his face, the smile that I had gotten familiar with.
"So damn funny! Careful that you don't cut yourself on that fucking wit of yours." He gave me a final punch, leaving my nose bloody as I slumped against the chair, my breath harsh and ragged.
Everybody knows that you can't kill Death, that nothing could reap the Grim Reaper. That may be true but only one thing can kill Death. That thing is Death, at least, the older brother of Death. He wouldn't kill me, at least not yet. Not until I've outlived my part of the deal and outlive my purpose.
"Right, where was I before someone rudely interrupted me? Oh, the girl. She's...close to my heart and I have a greater use for her now that she's of age so I asked your little messenger friend to keep an eye on her and ensure that she's well enough for the time for her to fulfil her destiny. Honestly, finding you there was a bonus, I had expected you to be hidden far away and not meddle in human affairs which you so expressly noted were 'pigs'." He did air quotations for the word 'pigs' and looked out of his windows.
"You see...I wanted to look for an heir to my throne, someone with enough royal blood of mine that could succeed me once I choose to retire. The world is but a cabaret after all, I've heard golfing is a good pastime for humans, do you think if I should invite some friends? I wanted to ask Lucifer but he was kinda 'indisposed' at the moment. Whatever that meant-"
"I really don't care if Lucifer comes to your birthday party or not. Just tell me what do you want with Ursula?" I received another slam of the jaw and not, the cold metal of a knife biting deep into my skin.
"Tut..tut...now what did I say about interrupting?" He sliced into my arm and threw another punch at me.
"Go to Hell." I spat.
"Been there, didn't see the appeal of it, I prefer the Underworld." He walked towards the door and spun on his heels.
"But because I'm such a good brother, I'll answer your questions. Better yet, I'll get a firsthand witness here to help you. Come on in darling." Two henchmen of Hades pushed a girl wearing a white dress into the room, her eyes were full of fear and her mouth was gagged with muffled cries.
"Ursula!" I yelped, surprised when Hades pushed me back into the chair, causing me to be unable to move.
"Mmf?! MFTTT! MFTT!" Ursula cried, her words muffled by the cloth gag in her mouth as Hades gingerly stroked her hair.
"Shhh....don't be afraid. You're gonna save the world...just not any lives and ruling the Underworld as part of the deal." He cooed as she jumped at his touch.
"Ursula....she's..." I was smart but apparently not smart enough to figure out the most obvious fact that was staring me in the face, the puzzle piece that would fit all the pieces together to form a picture.
"Yes, your precious friend is my daughter."
