The IV League [EDITING]

Chapter 13

"So, Morgan," said Dr. Dev, "it's been more than a month since you were admitted. How do you feel?"

To be honest, Morgan didn't know what to feel. She knew she felt a lot better in rehab, being around people who understood her, but she didn't know if she was actually getting any better. She knew the therapy was working, but she didn't know to what extent. She wasn't cutting herself anymore, but she still had the urge to. She felt less suicidal, but she still had days when dying seemed like her best option.

"Uh, I don't really know. I mean, your advice is working, but I don't know if I've become any better."

"Morgan, you're not going to wake up one day and see that you're not depressed anymore. It'll always be a small part of you. You're always going to experience sadness or have those days when it all get too much; that's a part of being human. What matters is how you learn to control it. You need to not let it consume you, become a part of you."

"I don't cut anymore, but I still have the urge to, and whenever it becomes really bad, I use a pen, like you said. But that doesn't mean I'm getting better, right?"

"It means you're learning how to control your inner demons. That is normally a sign of improvement."

"So, you're saying I am getting better?"

Dr. Dev handed a folder to Morgan. "I've compared your tests from yesterday to those we took just before you were admitted. The rate at which you've shown a positive progression is not very common for those in rehab. Not many people can show signs of improvement this quickly. It just shows how hard you're trying, and the effort you're putting in. And if you continue the same way, you might just be home before school starts."

Morgan didn't actually think she was trying. She felt exactly the same as before she was in rehab. She'd let her demons win most of the time, and she felt just as empty and hopeless. She didn't see the improvement, but apparently her tests said otherwise. Deep down, Morgan felt a small flicker of disappointment.

"But, you shouldn't just discharge me before I'm perfectly alright, right? I mean, what if I suddenly start cutting again, and what if I almost kill myself?"

"Morgan, like I said, you're not going to be perfectly alright. You're just going be feeling a lot better. And it's not like once you're out of rehab you're not going to be taken care of. You'll still have to come in for therapy for at least a year. You just won't have to live in the hospital anymore. And we're obviously not going to discharge you if there's still a chance for you to relapse. I'm just hopeful with your case."

Morgan nodded. Dr. Dev did make some valid points. And if she was getting better, why should she complain?

"Anyway," Dr. Dev continued, "your friends here have had a positive influence on your progress. And it seems like you've helped them as well. I heard that Cassandra Mahoney is actually opening up to people and letting others help her. Seems like you've brought to light a different side of her."

"Cass is a nice person. At the end of the day, she just needed someone who understood her. And I'm glad to be that someone. I really like her."

"That's great. You should get back to your friends. It seems like you all are your own little family."

They were a family, and one that Morgan actually liked. They were the reason she wasn't going insane. Unlike her friends back at home, they actually understood her, and she needed people like that, for better or for worse.

Morgan thanked Dr. Dev and left. Normally, she'd hang out with Carter before heading to the paediatric ward to help the nurses, but ever since Vivian got on to the donor list, she stopped spending a lot of time with him. Carter and Vivian had patched up a couple of days ago, but things were still a little tense between them. Carter was still really mad at her. Morgan wanted them to sort things out among themselves. She hated seeing Carter like this. But Vivian also had this crazy misconception that there was something going on between them, so Morgan spent lesser time with him. She hoped that if they weren't always together, Vivian could figure things out with him.