Defining Hope ( Nagito x Reader )

15 ~ Sorry

Nagito was silent the entire, and I'm not being dramatic when I say this, the entire trial. He said nothing about hope or despair, about evidence and suspects. He was silent. His hoodie was pulled over his head, and he stared at the floor to avoid eye contact.

It wasn't until Mikan started acting strange, that he spoke. "You really killed (Name)?" He frowned, lifting his head up.

"Please forgive me. I didn't want to. She just walked in at a bad time." Mikan panted. "She begged me not to kill her, but she saw me killing Ibuki. I couldn't let her get away and live. Please just forgive me, Nagito."

Nagito clenched his fists, biting his lip. "She always did have the worst timing.. But tell me, you want me to forgive you? Yeah sorry about that, but not happening."

"Just forgive me!" Mikan shouted, grabbing the podium harshly.

"I can't!" Nagito shouted back even louder, making everyone jump. His gray eyes had tears welling up, and he was visibly trembling. "You all think I'm some psycho! That I'm only obsessed with hope, and I'm just garbage! But she was different!"

"Huh...? Do you wanna be friends with trash like me?" Komaeda tilted his head.

"You aren't trash!" (Name) rolled her eyes. "Besides, you don't have to. I'm not gonna force you to hang out with a horrible human being such as myself. It was just a question."

"She really did love me!"

"Are you sure you wanna help a piece of garba-" His self-deprecating comment was cut off by her putting a finger over his lips.

"Stop calling yourself garbage, please." (Name) almost started pleading as she moved her finger. Nagito blinked, before laughing.

"Yeah, ok. I'll try."

"You wouldn't understand me, none of you would! She.. She became my hope! I loved her!"

"Stop calling yourself all those bad things. Every human life has value, damn it." (Name) stared right into his silver eyes, and he stared at her intently.

"This is the first time your eyes have held something other then emptiness.." He muttered softly, his free hand traveling to cup her cheek. "Is that hope...? Hope... looks amazing in your eyes.. I want to see it more often."

"I'm nothing more than worthless junk now, don't you get that?! You don't understand any of this, do you?! Now I'm nothing but useless trash! In her eyes, I was perfect! And nobody.. Nobody wants someone who's become a worthless piece of garbage.." Nagito then broke down, his forehead resting against his podium. Tears rolled down his cheeks and on to the floor, and he was too busy crying to care.

And it was then when it hit everyone, well everyone who was sane. It hit them just how much (Name) meant to him, and what he's been thinking about since she died. Hell, he didn't even take part in the investigation. He went back to his cottage doing God knows what.

"Nagito, I'm sor-" Hajime went to apologize, but Komaeda snapped his head up.

"You aren't sorry! You don't know what it's like to lose the only person in your life whoever gave a damn about you!" Nagito screamed. He then clicked a button on his podium. "I've already cast my vote! I want nothing else to do with this!" He then turned and ran out the trial grounds, and everyone was too heartbroken to stop him.

Nagito eventually got back to his cottage and collapsed on his bed, exhausted from the amount of crying. Starting to fall asleep, he let out another hiccup, then mumbled to himself.

"I'm sorry that in the end I couldn't protect you.."

Days felt like years. Time and time went on. Events came and went. More trials and deaths happened. Nekomaru, Gundham, Hiyoko, Chiaki. But to Nagito, everything was blurry. If he was being honest, he was surprised he even lived for so long. He was already slim as is, but he was starting to refuse to eat, and his stamina wasn't the best. His ribs started poking out a bit more, and his clothes were getting bigger on him. He was either asleep, showering, crying, or at the beach. That was usually his routine.

(Name) never got off his mind. He remembered every inch of her face, her body, how her voice sounded. Everything. He felt as though if he forgot what she looked like, he'd lose all sanity he had left.

Then one day, he was kicked off the island and thrown into a high school. One that looked strangely familiar but he couldn't quite remember. After a bit he refused to investigate any further, but that was fine because it was time for the last class trial.

Nagito's eyes glanced around. Akane, Fuyuhiko, Sonia, Kazuichi, and Hinata. That's who was left out of everyone. And Nagito couldn't help but think that (Name) deserved to be here 5 times more than he did.

"Cause it's a game!"

"Then.. We were forced to kill each other.." Fuyuhiko mumbled.

"Cause it's a game!"

"A lot of crazy shit happened..." Kazuichi groaned, holding his beanie.

"Cause it's a game!"

"We're the only people here.." Akane raised an eyebrow.

"Cause it's a game!"

"Monokuma's nonsensical abilities.." Sonia looked nervous.

"Cause it's a game!"

"I'm going to fucking lose it if you say that again!" Nagito growled harshly.

"Aww, is someone mad because they lost their girlfriend~?" Monokuma teased.

"Shut up!" Nagito barked defensively.

"Now now, Nagito. I know (Name)'s murder affected you quite a bit, but don't sass your principal now." Monokuma warned.

"Shut it! I don't wanna hear you say her name!" Nagito covered his ears with his hands in an attempt to block out the voice.

"Don't worry! I haven't even turned into my ultimate form!" Monokuma grunted as he began powering up.

"Ultimate form?" Hajime tilted his head.

Suddenly, Monokuma was replaced with a big puff of smoke, and everyone had to wave their hands in front of their face due to the smoke getting in their way. They coughed and fought to have their vision back, and what they saw surprised everyone there.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

Hajime and Nagito gaped, jaws slack.

"(N-Name)?!"