"Prisoner" - Bastille/Dan Smith Fanfiction

The life of a prisoner

       

Friday, Oct. 23rd, 2009

I don't know why I'm starting this but my friend Alex told me that it could be useful for people like me to deal with their life by writing down personal experiences and feelings cause a written text can't judge about what you're doing and how you're doing it. I got this empty book from him and in his opinion I should use it as a diary. So, here I am. My name is Daniel Campbell Smith, I am 23 years old and currently locked in a mental hospital, cause somehow I'm suffering of a multiple personality disorder, as psychiatrists name it and they hope this can be mended in here. What fools they are! No one can heal me, because no one knows how I really feel and what the causes for my mental health issues are. Besides I barely talk and I don't want to tell anyone anything about me. The only person I'm trusting at least a bit is Alex, my roommate and we can always have a bit of banter about ourselves and what's going on in our "home". I'm truly grateful for that and it makes the days in here less terrible. Today I got to know that I'll be having a new therapist next week and to be honest, I hate to be compelled to get used to another person. I've been here for nearly 4 years now and I've already had about seven or more different therapists and no one noticed that there isn't any progress since I've been admitted into the mental hospital. They just don't see that I'm hopeless.

How is the life of someone in a mental hospital? Well, you can compare it best with the life of a prisoner. You get woken at 7:30 am and then you have time to take a shower until 8:00 am (a bath is included in the rooms of the patients), breakfast is served at 8:10 am in the cafeteria. It might be the biggest cafeteria you can imagine, cause all patients are having breakfast at once (to save some time and our mental hospital only has about 300 patients, but there will be added new blocks in the following month so the number of patients will increase). After breakfast the appointments with the therapists and psychiatrists start for everyone. One session lasts for about 90 minutes and it's always the same old story: You talk to the therapist, maybe draw a picture for him to analyse your mental condition and he doesn't really tell you something new. The rooms for those sessions all look the same: white walls, two chairs for the patient and the psychiatrist and a desk between them. They are distributed in several long corridors, which are all looking the same as well, painted white with boring, old landscape photographs on the walls. Yes, you could get lost if you don't pay attention to the signposts next to the doors. I don't know why they've made the whole building so equal, maybe because the patients here are equal as well.