This Charming Life [Tig Trager] [Book Two]

XVI: Over

"Guys" Juice shouted as he ran into the clubhouse, where most of us where steadily drinking our way through the clubhouse alcohol supply, waiting for the right time to contact Galen, "The Irish" Juice continued as he panted, "they've been found" that caught everyone's attention as we all stood, ten questions shot simultaneously.

"Where?" Jax's voice rang out as I approached Juice.

"Utah" he huffed out, his face red, "Motel in Aurora, Utah. They're dead" my face fell.

"Was Anya with them?" I asked as I moved to stand right in front of him. He breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath, "Was she with them Juice?"

"I don't know" he sighed apologetically, "I just got a call from a contact in Utah, didn't say how many bodies, just said that it was Galen and others"

"We gotta get to Utah" I spoke my eyes wide, as I prepared to move out of the clubhouse.

"No" Heath spoke up assertively, "We need to stay. You can't be involved in that in anyway. The Irish will reach out to you now, you have to wait for that to happen"

I began to pace around the room. I didn't want to wait, I had to know if my wife was with that group. If they knew we had been wearing wires, then they had either killed her or moved her, and if they were moving her, she would have been with Galen.

"I'll get Tara to make a call to the hospital, we'll find out if she was there" Jax spoke gently as he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I choked back tears as I nodded in thanks.

*

2 days later

I had barely slept since we had found out that Galen was dead. I couldn't, not when I had no idea if my wife was alive or dead. We had received commuication from a guy, Colin, who was now heading up for the Irish, informing us that they were running their own investigations into what had happened, but as they knew we hadn't left California and therefore couldn't be involved in the going on in Utah, they just expected our business to continue. We asked about Anya, as we always did, and he assured us that his next phone call would have information on her condition. But it was obvious, he either didn't know or was hiding the truth. Now I was waiting on news from Tara. And as she walked through the door with a solemn look on her face, I knew I wasn't going to like what I heard. She sat down in front of me as every eye in the clubhouse turned to where she sat.

"They didn't find Anya" Tara said calmly as she reached to hold my hand, "She wasn't with them. But they found blood spatter on Galen's shirt. It wasn't his" My hand covered my mouth as I felt the tears build in my eyes, Tara's voice shook as she continued, "They DNA tested it. It was Anya's" the tears began to fall down my cheeks as I saw all the heads around me hang in horror, "the forensic lab said the spatter was consistent with that caused by a gunshot wound, probably to the head" Tara's voice cracked at the end as tears flooded down her face.

Tears were falling down my face at an alarming rate as Tara reached forward to pull me into a hug. I could hear muffled sobs from around me, but I couldn't stop the loud sobs that errupted from my throat. She was gone. All my fears had become real, the hopes I had clung to shattered as I clung to Tara and sobbed.

*

"We are here today to pay our tribute and respect to a wonderful woman, a caring and compassionate friend and a loving wife and mother" I tuned out the priest as we stood by the coffin. Anya wasn't in it. They'd never recovered her body. They'd found more of her blood at the scene, but they hadn't found her. They had found shovels, caked with dirt, which they suspected had been used to bury my wife. But the tests they'd run showed that the dirt came from the Fishlake National Forest, a mass of open woodland, and a near dead-end in locating where my wife's remains lay.

It had been Gemma that had said we should have a funeral. She thought we needed a way to say goodbye, a way of acknowledging our loss, along with a place where we could feel close to her. Everybody we knew had placed an item in the casket that reminded them of Anya. There was all sorts in there, cute teddy bears, photographs, jewellery. But she wasn't there, and I would be burying with her my hopes, dreams, love and devotion. There would be no one else like her. I'd never love somebody the way I loved her. I would raise our son to be the best he could be, in her memory, and I would strive everyday to be the man I should have been for her. As the service moved along, Braxton sat oblivious on my knee, his first birthday was coming up in a few weeks, and Gemma was making a big deal of celebrating it, because that's what Anya would have wanted.

"And now her husband has some words for us" the priest spoke as eyes moved towards me. I stood up on shaky legs as Tara reached out for Braxton. As I approached the head of the casket my mouth became dry and breathing became difficult, and for a moment as I stood looking at all the people that surrounded me, Anya's friends, her mother, father, brother, I didn't know what to say.

"Anya" I paused to take a deep breath, "Anya was the most amazing woman I've ever met. I had never met someone who loved so fiercely, and fought so hard to ensure that everyone around her was happy. How she ever became my wife I don't know. Anybody would tell you that she was far too good for me, but she stuck by my side, through thick and thin, she loved me regardless of all of my flaws. And that was just the woman Anya was. She saw the good in everyone. She saw the beauty in the the ugliness of everyday. And she has left me a part of that, a legacy of the incredible person that she was, our son Braxton. And I know, that wherever we are, she will be watching over us -" my voice finally cracked. Imelda rose to my side as tears poured down her face. Sobbing, I knew I couldn't continue, and so did everyone else, Imelda led me back to my seat as more people stepped forward to speak about how amazing my wife was.

Once they had finished speaking, and the priest had finished his spiel, soft violin music began to play as people approached the empty casket to lay white peonies on top of it. I was the last one to approach, Braxton clutched to my side, as I laid two pale pink peonies atop the sea of white. I couldn't even begin to think of ways to say goodbye to Anya. I shouldn't have had to. It had been two weeks since Tara had delivered the earth shattering news and I still couldn't get my head round it. I couldn't imagine that I would never wake up to see her face again, or hear her whisper that she loved me. I hated the thought that she would miss out on Braxton's life. She had already missed so much, Braxton was now able to pull himself up using furniture and it wouldn't be long before he was walking. His babbled words were also beginning to take on some form, and I was sure his first words weren't far off either. People kept telling me that, although the pain never went away, things got better, easier to manage. I could only pray that they were right.

*

I looked over at her as she sat by the window, staring out at the rain. She hadn't said much at all since we found her. And it had been over a fortnight now. I knew today would be hard for her.

"Here you go" I tried to smiled happily as I placed a coffee mug in front of her.

"Thanks" she murmered, a smile appearing and disappearing within a second. She wrapped her hands around the mug and leant back into her seat, drawing her knees to her chest, as she turned to look out the window again.

"I know it's rough" I spoke up, and her sad eyes moved back to me as they spoke, "But we have to give it time. They have to do this" I tried to reassure.

"He'll hate me for putting him through that" she sighed shaking her head.

"He couldn't hate you if he tried" I laughed and a small smile appeared on her face, "He'll be glad your alive, he'll understand more than most why you had to do this"

"When will I get to see them?" she asked.

"A few weeks maybe, it depends how long it takes me to put everything together" she nodded slowly before looking back out at the rain. She was too good a woman to have all the problems that faced her in life. If there was ever someone that deserved an easy and happy life it was her. Hopefully that was what she'd have once I pulled my sources together.

"Thank you" she smiled slightly, "For everything. I know I haven't said it enough"

"You don't have to say it, I know you'd do the same for me and mine" I squeezed her hand in appreciation.

"Still, thank you" I nodded and smiled as we let the silence take over again.