Gasoline-- Tronnor AU

Chapter Three- Connor

Breathe- Seeb

I felt so weak, walking through the crowded hallways.

Every time someone would smile and wave at me and I'd have to smile and wave back.

I walked gracefully into the cafeteria with the rest of the swim team guys following behind me.

Our school is the most stereotypical school in the whole world. It's like Mean Girls in real life.

The pretty popular plastics sat at one table. I only knew them because I used to date one of them. Bethany Mota. I broke up with her a couple months ago when I found out I wasn't into girls. I made up some lies about 'not feeling the spark anymore'.

To be honest, the spark was never there. With any female. I hate it. I hate that I like boys. I hate that I'm different.

I kept walking past the homophobic football players. I've heard that Nash Grier has beat up every gay kid at this school. Its just another reason why I will never come out.

The drama club sat at the next table. They were just straight up weird. Hannah and Grace were their leaders. There are rumors that they're dating, but they're both definetly lesbian.

Then the geeks and nerds. I don't even know any of their actual names. They call each other these strange nicknames like Markiplier and PewDiePie.

There were some others but I don't pay much attention to them. They were kind of the outliers. Not popular but not left out either.

We took a seat at our table, setting down our trays of food. Most school food is disgusting, but ours actually tastes really good. Maybe its because we have an actual chef cooking it.

Louis, our school 'lunch lady' is pretty much the coolest guy ever. He's traveled everywhere and makes the best food.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" My best friend Ricky asked, nudging my shoulder. "You seem a bit off."

"Yeah your being really quiet," JC added on.

"Very quiet," Kian said.

"I'm fine guys," I said with a convincing smile.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to us right." Ricky said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

Tell them. Tell them the truth.

"Actually I have to tell you something," I started, feeling my hands getting sweaty.

"I-Im-" I couldn't say it. The words were stuck in my throat.

"I'm not gonna make it to tonight's swim meet," I lied.

They looked confused. "That's is?"

"Yeah, that's it," I said mentally cursing at myself.

They looked unconvinced, but they didn't push me anymore.

Well I guess I'm not swimming tonight.

***

I walked over to my car, not looking forward to going back home. School is kind of like my escape. I always have something to think about and my friends are always by my side to protect me. At home I'm usually alone with my thoughts.

I sat in my car for a while, letting the stupid music on the radio play.

I watched the group that always sits outside under the trees. My eyes always fall on the tall skinny one with the blue eyes and messy curls. He was one of the openly gay kids here. Along with his best friend Tyler, who has pretty much hooked up with every homosexual at this school. I can't remember his name, I've never talked to him before.

He wore a light grey jumper with ripped skinny jeans and the same black converse. My eyes trailed up his slim figure and pale skin with desire.

What am I doing? This is wrong.

When I looked at his face I realized he was watching me stare at him. He smiled at me shyly and went back to talking with his friends.

I back out of my parking spot trying to get his pretty smile out of my head.

I have enough to worry about already. I don't need a crush on top of it. And definetly not on a boy.

***

"I'm home!" I yelled out, putting my keys down on the counter.

"Hey honey," Mom said. "How was your day?"

"It was fine." I don't see the point in asking that question everyday. Nothing ever happeneds and my answers always going to be the same.

"Don't forget, you have practice tonight," she yelled as I started to make my way upstairs to my room.

"I'm actually feeling kind of sick," I said, desparetly trying to come up with an excuse so the guys won't find out I lied to them. "And I have a really bad headache."

"Alright then, go rest sweetie. Do you want anything?" She asked.

"No I'm fine," I said, scurrying up my room.

I locked the door and collapsed onto my bed, scrolling through my instagram. I just gained another 20 followers. Everyone says that pretty soon I'll be famous.

I'm proud of my photography. It's the one thing I actually enjoy doing, other than swimming and running.

My mind wandered back to the boy at school. It also gave me a thousand reason why I should stay away from him.

He's not popular

He bad for your image

There are rumors that he's a drug addict

Your not out

You never will be out

I plugged in my earphones and slipped my shoes off, crawling into bed.

I smiled letting the music take me to another world.

Don't drown your heart

Oh baby,

Just breathe don't drown your heart

Oh baby,

Just breathe don't drown your heart

This was my escape. My painkiller. The higher the volume, the more the dosage.

~V

BTW this is one of my favorite songs like ever.