Gasoline-- Tronnor AU

Chapter Sixteen- Troye

XIAT- Trevor Moran

No one's ever done anything like this for me before.

I read the words over and over in my head.

I can't believe he likes me back!!

I walked home and as soon as I opened the door Tyde and Sage were standing there, dragging me inside.

"What happened?"

"Tell us everything."

I smiled, handing them Connor's drawing.

They awwwwed in unison making heart eyes at the paper.

"You have to ask him out!" Sage squealed.

I shook my head, laughing. "I'm not ready for that."

As much as I like him I'm not ready for another relationship. I'm not ready to go through that kind of heartbreak again.

Also with this whole depression thing I don't think its a good idea.

"C'mon Troye! Matthew was two years ago!" Tyde groaned.

"Tyde, he cheated on me. How do I know Connor won't do the same?"

"You can't," Sage said sitting down on the couch, next to me. "You fall knowing the consequences. You have to trust him to catch you."

"I don't know him enough to trust him," I said.

"Then get to know him Tok," Sage said.

Suddenly there were tears in my eyes. It's been so long since she called me that.

"I don't know why I've been pushing you guys away," I admitted. "I really missed you both."

"If you want to stop pushing me away then let me hug you," Sage frowned.

That I can't do. They can't see how skinny I am through my oversized clothes. If they touch me, they can feel it. I don't want anyone to know.

Also any touch reminds me of that stupid dream that haunts me.

Any touch reminds me of Matthew's hands pinning me down to the bed.

It remind me if his weak I am.

It reminds me that I'm dying.

"I can't, but I love you both," I said getting up and leaving to my room.

***

I lay awake in bed thinking of him.

Not Connor.

Matthew.

Why did I love him? Why did I let him do the things he did to me?

I slowly fell asleep without realizing it.

***

"Tonight you're mine," he whispered close to my ear.

He ripped my clothes off me ignoring my protests. I wasn't ready for this.

He shoved me back against the bed biting at my neck, digging his nails into my skin.