Gasoline-- Tronnor AU

Chapter 45- Connor

Clouds- Before You Exit (another gorgeous song)

Say yes.

Say yes.

Please say yes.

"Con, I love you, but I can't stay."

That's not the answer I wanted...

"Why am I not enough to keep you here?  Don't you care about me?" Tears pricked at my eyes ruining the emotionless face I've been putting up. "I can make you happy Troye. I've done it before. God, I'd give up my own happiness if it would make you better."

I could see him thinking. "I can't. I've already thought this through. I don't want love anymore."

I nodded wiping away my tears. There's nothing I can do to change his mind. If he's that unhappy, then I guess it is wrong to keep him here.

"Con, don't cry," he said with a shaky voice. "I can't walk away knowing you're crying."

Those words sounded familiar. I told him that the night of Bethany's party.. when I kissed her.

"Then don't fucking walk away! Stay here and hold me, Tro. Please! I'm already losing Tyler, I can't lose you too!" I desperately tried to convince him to stay.

He wrapped his skinny arms around me in a hug, his chin resting on my shoulder. After a moment, he cupped my face saying, "I'm sorry, Connor. I'm putting you through hell. I need to start thinking straight..."

"What are you saying?" I asked. We were so close together, breathing the same air.

Please don't break me again.

"I'm saing I love you and I'll fight for you Con. I'll try as hard as I can." His sudden change in thinking surprised me.

I grinned, my eyes settling on his lips. "Can I kiss you..?"

"Please, Kitten," he smiled softly using the nickname that send memories rushing back.

That smile.

The smile I first fell in love with. I leaned in pecking his pink lips gently.

"You call that a kiss?" he laughed, latching himself onto me.

It wasn't fast or heated the way an after-fight kiss should be. I was gentle like dancers in the rain. We're both on the verge of breaking. I think this exactly what we needed.

My fingertips traced his abnormally thin ribs, feeling his heartbeat through his sweater.

"Thank you," Troye said, pulling away.

"For what, Angel?" I said tracing patterns on his back.

"For not giving up on me," he said, leaning into my touch.

"I would never," I said pressing my lips to his again.

He smiled again. I don't think I can ever get enough of that smile.

***

Everyone was watching us when we came downstairs.

I was a little nervous that Troye might freak out again with so many people watching him. But no.. he stood strong.

"I'm sorry," he said softly to the group of grieving people before us. "I've been the most selfish asshole ever. I'm sorry for everything. Please forgive me?"

Everyone stared at him, wondering how to respond to his sudden apology. I took his shaking hand that was hidden behind the couch.

"Troye, don't cry!" Zoe said jumping off Alfie's lap to come comfort him. "We're not thinking cause we don't forgive you, we're just wondering why your apologizing."

"Y-you don't hate me?" he said, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"Of course we don't!" Caspar shouted. "You can't blame everything on yourself!"

"C'mere, man," Jc said, pulling him into a hug.

Troye smiled again. Third time today... that makes me so happy.

We all settled on the floor. I don't know what my relationship with God is... But right now I'm thanking him. Thanking Him for letting the love of my life be ok. Thanking Him for not letting me lose him.

Right now we sat in silence with joined hands, praying for Tyler's recovery.

~V

Is Tyler gonna make it...? Stay tuned people.

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