One Direction: Fresh Start.

Sorry for not updating in so long!

The rest of the night sped by as did the rest of the week.

We had all arranged to get up early and go shopping, the boys kept complaining that they needed more winter clothes.

It was 10AM and we all piled into Louis' car, Zayn was in the passenger seat and I was sat in the back between Harry and Liam. Niall across from us.

This is the first time I had been out in public since the signing. I had taken the bandage off my arm but I still insisted on wearing long sleeves.

I had settled on dark red skinnies and one of Harry's hoodies considering most of mine were thin and not suitable for the weather.

The car ride was long and entertaining, Zayn was skipping through all of the radio stations before finally settling on putting their CD in.

My own mini concert.

The traffic was worse than we first though so it took a little longer to get into town but once we did, Niall pointed out a group of girls, stood at the edge of the parking lot, all of which started screaming once they noticed Louis' car pull up. Soon enough, the car was completely surrounded, no way of an easy escape.

Shit. They find out everything.

One by one each of the boys got out and started to fight their ways through the crowd, occassionally stopping to take pictures or sign something.

Soon enough it was only me and Niall left in the car, he looked about as scared as I was.

'I don't like it when they crowd us like this.' Niall mumbled. 'Let's go together.'

He shuffled over to me, grabbed my hand and opened the door.

All of the girls in the crowd started screaming at Niall.

'NIALL! WHO'S THAT?!'

'WHAT'S HER NAME?'

'WHO IS SHE?'

I tightened my grip on his hand as he started walking faster through the crowd, looking down at me every so often. He could clearly see how scared I was.

Just as we got out of the crowd, that's when I heard something I'd been used to all my life.

'Just look at her, she's ugly!'

'What does she think she's doing with our boys?'

'Look how fat she is!'

They don't even know me yet they still judge, tears started forming in my eyes but I was determined to let them see they got to me.

Instead I dropped Niall's hand and walked faster, picking up the pace as soon as I knew I was out of sight and straight to Nandos where I knew the boys were waiting.

Niall reached me just before I walked through the door.

'What was that all about?'

'Nothing, just leave it.' I quickly replied, walking into the restaurant and over to the booth where the others were sitting.

They had already ordered and with the looks of it, the food had just arrived.

I sat down between Louis and Harry. Pouring myself a glass of water, I just sat there, thinking about what the girls had said back at the car.

'Leah? Leah, are you ok?' Liam's soft voice broke me out of my trance.

'Wha- oh, yeah, I'm fine.'

'Don't you want anything to eat?' Louis added, pushing a plate infront of me. Sure, I was hungry but I couldn't eat it.

'No, not hungry.' I lied.

All of the boys shared concered looks and carried on with their meals, all except Louis.

'Please don't do this, eat something? Please, for me?'

His eyes filled with sympathy, I couldn't let him down.

After analysing every piece of meat on my plate, I decided on the smallest, picking it up with my fork and slowly chewing it.

'What are you doing?! Did you not hear what those girls said back there? You're fat!' All these thoughts kept swirling around my head, along with the comments from the fans earlier.

I couldn't do this anymore, so I stood up and ran.

Straight through the restaurant and into the toilet. Locating the nearest empty cubicle, I ran in and quickly locked the door.

Kneeling down on the floor infront of the toilet, I regretted what I was about to do, remembering my promise to the boys that I would try and get better, but I had to.

After emptying the little food I had in my stomach, I instantly felt the need to cut, like I always did.

Everytime after purging, I used to cut but right now, I didn't have that option.

So instead, I slowly stood up and pushed the thought to the back of my head. I brushed my jeans making sure to get rid of the marks from where I was kneeled down and exited the cubicle.

Much to my dismay, Louis was stood there, arms crossed, looking at the floor.

As soon as my eyes caught sight of him I let out a feeble gasp.

'Leah...come here.' Louis opened his arms wide, walking towards me, enclosing me in possibly the saddest hug I had ever experienced, atleast since the night I found out about my parents.

'You can't keep doing this, it's not helping you.' He slowly let go, looking me straight in the eyes, his hands on my shoulders.

'No one cares.' I mumbled to the floor.

'We care, do you think we would have gone to the hospital with you if we didn't care? Would we let you stay with us? No, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Whenever you feel lonely or upset, you know that you have us, no one can take us away from you.'

I hadn't noticed that tears were freely rolling down my cheeks until Louis wiped them away with his thumb.

'Come on, lets get back out there. Be strong.' Nodding my head in agreement, I followed Louis out of the WOMENS toilets.

A couple of old ladies gave Louis odd looks as we were walking out. 'What?! When you've got to go, you've gotta go!' I let out a slight laugh at his immaturity.

All of the boys looked up as we reached the table.

'Have you been crying?' Zayn asked as soon as I sat down, looking to Louis for help, he quickly replied telling them he would explain later.

I smiled a little thanks at him, 'No problem.' He mouthed.

Swiftly exiting the restaurant, I noticed the fans had followed and were once again surrounding the boys. This time, instead of getting involved, I decided it would be better if I went shopping whilst they greeted fans, afterall that is what today was supposed to be for.

Walking past Boots I remembered that I needed more foundation. After grabbing my usual foundation, I proceeded to the checkout, that's when it caught my eye, the aisle where I would buy the instruments needed for my relief.

'Would the boys notice? Not if I hid them...' I considered my actions for a while, deciding that nothing good would come out of me fighting the urge, I grabbed a pack of the razor blades I used to get and went to checkout.

'Do you need a bag?' The woman behind the cashier asked.

'Urm, no thanks, I'll put them in my bag.' I replied, that way the boys wouldn't see them and I could hide them as soon as we got back to the house.

'Have a nice day.' The woman handed over my change and with that, I was on my way, no one will know about my secret.

Now the only problem would be finding the time alone to do it and hiding them.