The Last Philosopher

Dummies helping themselves

After walk-running back across the gravelled square. Charlie jumped with the joy of pulling the wool over Ms Skvosip's deserving eyes. Flying over the steps and landing with a satisfying 'thunk' on the office porch.

"Da," she shouted crashing through the door, but his desk was empty. "Herschel?"

"Yes," a soft reply came from the jail hallway.

"Ya know where Da went?"

Herschel started to answer, but it turned into a talk about how perhaps no one was truly anywhere.

"I'll find 'im miself!" She wanted to at least pretend to listen, but she was low on patience. "Ba there's another thing, if I could get a... lady in 'ere, who might be able ta help ya. Could ya convince her?"

"I don't know, I suppose that depends on the lady?" She wasn't falling for that one, so she changed her question.

"Will ya please try?"

"I can only tell her the truth, will that convince her?"

"Couldn't ya tell her you didn't know anyone owned the chickens?"

"No, I knew the farmers considered them property and I inferred that taking them was against some expected conduct. But I didn't believe it to be just."

This was news to Charlene, but she was beyond caring if he'd knowingly broken the law or not. "Ba I mean, couldn't ya jus try to sound regretful or somethin'?"

"I can't lie, I have to tell the truth. If your lady doesn't understand that, there's not much more I can do."

His tilted head had a frown trying to do flips off his face. He was in a real pickle, cornered by her on one side and the truth on the other.

"It's not like lyin', it's... well, it's not lyin', I didna say ya should lie, did I? Just convince her," she lied, trying her best to convince him.

"By acting in a misleading manner?"

"I guess it'd be too much ta ask for ya to try to help yerself." She turned and slowly started to walk away.

"Charlene--" She stopped keeping her back to him. "The ignorance of the sheltered is both a blessing and a curse, but it should be protected by those who no longer have the blessing."

She wasn't about to reply to that nonsense.

"I will try, I won't lie but I'll try to be convincing."

"Great! I'll see ya later then." The sad walk-away never failed.

Charlie was beaming on her way over to Bern's. Smiling the smile of someone who knew she'd ruined the entertainment of every ratbag in the square. As for Earl, if he wasn't in the office, the tavern was where he'd be squatting. In the only building on the east square with two levels. She found him sitting alone at their regular table sipping a beer, it looked odd in his hands. She knew he'd been an accomplished drinker before she was born. Still, these days he never had more than one and only on special occasions.

"Da! What are ya doing," she whispered like he was hatless in public.

"I'm having a grog-blossom! It's only a half-pint, I've earned it!" He stared into the tankard of dark-beer that was still brewed according to Bern's original recipe.

"Ya've been talking to Herschel again, haven't ya?"

"I only asked if he wanted lunch, or if he wanted to wait for you, but he got into this whole thing about how there's no such thing as a free lunch! So yeah, I gave up and came here for a pint, Fannie even threw in lunch for free. Shows ya what he knows!"

"Sounds like ya've earned it alright, but I want a favour." An uncanny intuition made her connect the favour to his guilt about the drink.

"What is it?"

"I've convinced Ms Skvosip to com' talk to Herschel, I think it's the only way to save 'im."

"I don't have to be there do I?"

She'd expected more of an argument. "No no, ya stay 'ere, I'll tell ya when it's over."

"Fine, as long as I don't have to get involved. Those two could drive a man to the edge of sanity, and then give him a firm push over the edge."

She left Earl smiling at his own gag. At the bar, Fannie was having a pint of her own, and likely not her first. Fannie could put 'em away with the best.

"I did it!"

"Di wha'?"

"Ms Skvosip, she's gonna to meet wi' Herschel!"

"Why in Bayit's name would ya want 'er to?" Fannie's hazy gaze looked worried, not happy.

"She'll see he's innocent, an' then she'll make Bres let 'im go!"

"She said she'd 'elp 'im?"

"Well no, not exactly..."

"Wha' did she say? Exactly."

"Fine, so maybe I didna ask her to 'elp, but ya don't understand!"

"I'm sorry hun, I t'ink I do understand, I jus' don't want ya to get yer 'opes up." Fannie's voice was full of motherly concern, which only made it worse.

"But it'll work, I can feel it!"

"Ya didna promise her anything in return did ya?" Charlie pursed her lips and stormed off.

Updated: 22.11.2023