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Chapter 4: Stars

I loved the way his arms suited perfectly around my small body. Almost as if it was meant to be. 'Maybe we should go to sleep.' he suddenly whispered into my ear. I felt his breathe on my skin. He was so close to me.
I knew he was right but I also knew I would not fall asleep anytime soon. Guess that's normal when a parent dies.
'I don't have a pajamas.' I said without showing any emotion. Shawn turned me around. Even though my chest was bare he kept his eyes on mine. In the moment it didn't really bothered me that I was half naked. 
'Take this', he said as he threw a white shirt my way.
I smiled and held it in front of me. Only his shirt was double my size. 
'I know it's way too big, but I'm sure you'll look great in it.' he winked and turned around so I could get dressed.
As I said he could turn back he muttered: 'Told you, you'll look good.'
He picked me up in his arms and laid me down on the bed. For a few seconds he was on top of me but he turned to the side.
I guess when you're on the edge of dying it makes you feel certain things. A specific kind of love. Maybe not the kind that makes you fall in love but definitly one that may cause that.
Shawn wrapped his arms around my waist while his breathe got blewn in my neck. I almost could feel his lips on my skin.
'Good night.' he whispered. He pressed his lips in my neck and gave a soft peck.
'Good night.' I said smiling. Luckily he couldn't see my face.
A loud snore came from his way and I realised he was already sleeping. 
It's strange how my life could fall apart so fast but how just one person can make me feel less bad. And it's even more strange how that one person can be someone you always dreamed about. 

After maybe an hour I still couldn't fall asleep. I went out of bed and sat down in front of the window. It was a dark night but in the sky were many stars shining bright. Almost as if they were giving me a sign. Maybe a sign that mom is fine up there. That's she's watching over me.
It's weird to think that she isn't here anymore. I mean how do you cope with someone who had just been removed from earth. 
Death is something strange and I still haven't figured out if I should be afraid of it.
How would Shawn react if I would have been removed from earth like that. Just within a finger snap. Poof.
Or how would I react if it happened to him.
I don't think I want to know.
'Amelia?' Shawn said as he slowly opened his eyes. 'Where are you?'
'I'm here, next to the window.' My voice sounded raspy and my eyes were wattery. I love watching the stars, it makes me emotional for no reason.
'Are you okay?' he asked as he grabbed my shoulder and sat down next to me.
I sighed.
'I'm fine.' I said. 'Just couldn't sleep.'
He laid his hand on my knee and pinched me soflty.
'I get that. I can't imagine what you're going through.' he took my hand in his and held it.
I rested my head on his shoulder while we both stared at the sky.
'The stars are beautiful.' he said softly. The moonlight was shining in his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes suddenly looked gold. A warm yellow kind of gold, like honey.
'Stars make me feel like I'm never alone.' Ifelt tears welling up but held them in. I didn't want to cry again.
He saw that I was about to cry and said: 'It's okay if you cry. I won't judge'
I smiled and turned my head so my forehead rested on his shoulder. Softly I placed my lips on his skin. Not knowing if he could feel what I was doing.
Suddenly after a long time sleep got to me. My mind drifted away as the stars were watching over me.