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Chapter 11: "Pain and love is the same"

I waited for this but something inme told me I wasn't ready. 
'I can't.' My heart got shreded when I saw his face. The pain in his eyes made me start tearing up.
'Why? If I may ask.' He tried to stay strong but we both knew he was broken deep down.
'I can't love someone who isn't with me. It's too much for me right now. I-...I think I need time for myself.' My voice went more quietly with saying the last words. I've never had time for myself. Always trying to take care of others and forgetting myself. My mental health is suffering from it.
'We will be together Amelia. I'll stop everything for you.'
He laid his hand on my shoulder but I pulled away. 'Shawn, please.'
'That's not the only problem.' I said.
Shawn's eyes went wide.
'I've got a call. My album is coming and I'm leaving town tomorrow.' I explained.
I felt his strong arms around my small body.
'I'm so proud of you! Congrats.' Shawn kissed my forehead. his touch tingled on my skin.
I slowly shook my head.
'Shawn, I'm underaged. I'm still in school. And you'll go on tours and..-'
His lips touched mine. A soft touch. It woke up a burning flame inside me. My hands felt warm and clammy. We were playing with fire.
'You're killing me Shawn.' I said.
'No Amelia, you are killing me.'
He grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers through mine.
'We can try.' he said.
I nodded as I repeated after him: 'We can try.'

'When are you leaving?' he smiled but I knew he was sad.
I sighed. 'Tomorrow night. I'm going to Great Britain.'
'Let's enjoy our last hours.' Shawn smiled sweet to me.
We arrived at a house that looked like a modern castle.
He led the way to our room.
'I have a surprise..' he said.
I Didn't say anything and waited for him to reveal.
'We're doing a Harry Potter marathon! I rented all the movies.' he smiled and I laughed.
I gave him a kiss on his cheek and saw him blushing.
We were surrounded with comfy food as we started the first movie.
When we were on the third: 'Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban', I fell asleep.
I felt Shawn pulling me close to him. I felt his breath. His warm comforting breath.
The next morning I woke up at eleven o'clock. The sun shined through the curtains. Lighting up the whole room.
'Goodmorning Sleepyhead.' he peeked his head through the door and smiled.
He ran my way and jumped on the bed. Hanging on top of me.
He wrapped his arms around me and pushed his body against mine.
His tongue tingled as he placed soft kisses all over my body.
I playfully pushed him away and got on top of him.
I wasn't looking at Shawn when I felt his lips on mine. I gently bit his lip and smiled during the kiss.
'I could eat a whole house.' I said. 'I'm so hungry.
He went to the kitchen and came back with, of course, his self made muffins.
The day was amazing but had soon ended.
Shawn drove me to the airport. He said it was the least he could do.
He held me strong in his arms like he would lose me.
'Shawn.' I said.
His eyes went up and found mine. He looked serious as if I was about to say something very bad.
'I want to be your girlfriend.'
He rested his hand on my hip and buried his face in my neck.
'I will miss you, girlfriend.' he smiled.
I pushed my lips on his. Slowly moving my tongue inside his mouth. I tasted mint. It was the most passionate kiss we ever had.
'Shut up, boyfriend.' I said to Shawn and he smiled.
He gave me a kiss on my forehead and looked at the time.
'I guess I'll see you soon.' He said as I was tearing up again.
'I will hear you on the radio.' Shawn winked at me but I saw a tear on his face.
I turned around and didn't look back. Afraid that I could break out in tears and run back to him. Cancelling all my plans. I couldn't do that, I couldn't ruin my future like that.
I walked towards a new beginning, towards a new life.