Getting Through it Together || Muke

Chapter 1

Lukes eyes raked over his own body in the bathroom mirror.  

Disgusting.

Freak. 

Ugly.

Emo.

Fat.

Fag. 

These were words that replayed in Lukes mind all day. Consuming his thoughts. Luke thought these words were true. Luke thought this is what everybody thinks of him. 

"Luke! Are you almost done? We have to leave for an interview in ten minutes!" Calum called, Luke mumbling a 'I'll be out' loud enough for Calum to barely hear. 

Luke put his clothes on, black skinny jeans and a plain blue t shirt, with his vans. He walked out of the bathroom into the living room, where the other three boys were sitting, playing on their phones absentmindedly, waiting for Luke. 

 Luke's stomach fluttered when he saw Michael look up from his phone, smile at him, and look back at the screen. 

Well, Luke had really always had a crush on Michael, but recently he noticed his feelings had grown larger, Luke had come to the conclusion that it was love. It killed Luke. 

In Luke's mind, no one loved him. They acted like it, but they didn't. In his mind, no one cared, no one wanted him around, he was worthless, fat, stupid, ect. Luke hurt himself because of this, cuts were scattered on his hips and some of his thigh, It's not always on the wrist. 

Luke starved himself, and purged whenever he ate, knowing the boys would be suspicious if he didn't eat. He hated himself. 

Luke snapped out of his deadly thought when someone waved their hand in front of Luke's face.

"Luke? Are you ready to go?" Michael said softly, standing very close to the boy. 

Luke gulped, "Yes." He said very quietly. Before Luke could walk out to the car where the other two boys were Michael grabbed Luke's shoulders and embraced him in a bone crushing hug. Michael pulled away after about a minute, smiling at Luke and walking outside to the car. 

**

After the interview and a quick preformance, the other three boys wanted to go out to eat, of course Luke said no, that he wasn't feeling well. Ashton dropped the other boys off at the restaurant, taking Luke home and quickly getting back. 

Before Luke could get fully out of the car, Ashton grabbed his arm, "Luke, are you sure you're okay?" He asked, worry lining his features. 

"I'm fine Ash, just a bug that's all. I'll be fine." Luke smiled a fake smile and Ashton nodded.

"Okay. I love you Luke. Hope you feel better." He said smiling. 

Luke nodded and closed his door, and Ashton drove away back to the restaurant. Luke walked up the steps into the large house. He threw his keys onto the floor and ran upstairs. Luke was having a freak out. The voices in his head were too much. 

Luke slammed the bathroom door behind him and opened the cabinet. His razors weren't there. They weren't in that hiding spot. He turned around frantically, and opened his secret compartment in the wall, they weren't there either. Those were his only places. 

Did someone find out, and take them? He thought. That was it for Luke, in that moment he started to freak out. He screamed and pushed everything off the counter with his bare arms. He screamed again and it came out as loud, broken sobs. He fell to his knees, the itching on his thighs was getting unbearable. He screamed again, more tears rushing down his face as he broke down on the bathroom floor. 

Why does it have to be me? Why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to be gay? Why do I have to be fat and ugly? Why can't I be normal? Luke thought. 

"Luke! What's going on up there?!" Calum screamed, rushing up the stairs as he was the first person to get back in the house after going out for dinner. He got to the upstairst bathroom, seeing everything off of the counter, broken on the floor. He saw his best friend, curled up on the floor, sobs and broken screams coming out of his mouth. 

"Luke please! Look at me!" Calum screamed, trying to shake the boy back into reality, "Ashton! Michael! Please come help!" He yelled as he heard the other two boys come into the house, laughing about some unknown thing. 

They both ran up the stairs and to the bathroom doorway, looks of terror crossing their faces as they saw the bathroom, and Luke. 

"Michael I know for sure you're the only one who can help him please just do something!" Calum cried, close to tears. 

Michael was completely oblivous to what Calum ment, but Calum and Ashton knew. They both knew that Luke was in love with Michael.

Michael was so shocked and terrified, that he didn't know what to do. Out of instinct, he picked the thrashing Luke up, and took him to his own bedroom. Setting Luke down on his bed, Michael sat down too. He pulled the boy into his lap and held him close to his chest. Luke grabbed onto him and cried more.

"Luke, calm down please. It will be okay," Michael said, trying to get Luke to stop crying, "Luke please. It's okay. Please stop crying." 

**

After a while, Luke calmed down. His sobs were mere whimpers until they were non existent. Michael was still holding Luke close. Michael peered down at Luke, his eyes were red and puffy still, a little bit of drool was coming out of his mouth. Michael still thought he looked perfect anyway. 

Yes, Michael was in love with luke. Hoplessly in love. He thought Luke was completley straight. He was wrong, obviously, but thats what Michael thought. He thought about what Calum said, what was that supposed to mean? 

"M-Mikey?" A small voice whispered. Michael looked down and saw Luke looking at him desperatley. 

"Yeah Luke?" He answered. 

"I'm sorry. I think I broke everything in the bathroom. And my throat hurts. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up Mikey."

"Luke you're not a fuck up. You just had a break down. Can you tell me why?" Michael said softly, putting his hand on Luke's thigh. 

Luke winced and a look of terror crossed over his brow. 

"Luke? Why'd you wince?" Michael said worriedly.

"Michael, please, don't." Luke said, backing away from Michael.

"Luke please. You tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine." Michael said. 

"You'll be disgusted with me Mikey." 

"No I won't. Please tell me Luke."

"Okay." Luke said, he undid his belt and pulled his pants down, revealing his scars, and recent cuts. They were basically everywhere on the upper parts of his thighs and hips.

Michaels hand went to his mouth, gasping in shock as he saw. Luke pulled his pants back up, his eyes brimming with tears. 

"Please don't be disgusted." Luke whimpered. 

"I'm not Luke, I'm proud," Michael said, "Those scars show that you are a fighter, and that you are strong."

"Michael you don't know how much that means to me. Thank you," Luke said, wiping his eyes, "Now what's your secret?"

Michael froze for a few seconds, "Luke, I-I'm gay."