Linger

T H I R T Y - E I G H T

"Excuse me, Madison."

The familiar voice caught me off guard, causing me to jump in my spot at the front of the classroom.

I turned to see who was at the doorway and my breath caught in my throat.

There standing in a dark & handsome suit & tie was Mr. Hayden. His dark blonde hair was neatly combed back and he wore an unreadable expression on his face.

My mind began to spin and I tried to grab a hold of my thoughts to make at least one coherent decision in the moment. And that was to leave.

"I'm sorry, I was just leaving." I said as I turned back to my bag, zipping it up & swinging it over my shoulder.

I had to get out of here. I was probably better off staying with Chelsea & Alice at the formal, even if I wasn't enjoying myself. It would've been better company than being in a room with nobody else but a man who probably didn't want anything to do with me, while I still had difficulty processing my feelings for. This was his classroom after all, he had more of a reason to be in here than I did. And after the check-in last week, he made it very clear that whatever we had in the past was exactly that -- in the past.

I fished my phone out of my bag to call my parents to pick me up. I just wanted to go somewhere quiet & calm, where I can just sit & be with my thoughts for a moment. To just sit & think about everything and nothing. Anywhere but here. This room has made me feel far too many emotions to think clearly.

Taking a deep breath, I began to make my around the tables to the entrance of the classroom, where Mr. Hayden still stood, now with his arms crossed. If I didn't think he had any distaste for me before, it was definitely clear now, evident in his closed off body language and stern look. I could feel my heart pounding louder & louder with every step I took closer to him, until we were standing face to face.

I shifted my gaze toward the ground. "Excuse me." I whispered, barely loud enough for even me to hear.

As I tried to push past him, his hand grabbed my wrist, forcing me to stop in my tracks & look at him.

His eyes locked on mine, the mystery passed unveiling the tired look he's worn for so long.

"Wait," his voice soft, almost a plead more than a command. He reached behind me to close the door, causing me to take a step closer to him to move out of the doorway.

His strong cologne filled my senses, almost making feel light-headed as if intoxicating me and I couldn't tell if it was just because I was so tired from the performance earlier or because of his now close proximity to me. We held each other's gaze for a moment & I could feel the butterflies begin to awaken. I looked down at his hand wrapped around my wrist, then back at him, hoping for some sort of explanation.

Mr. Hayden followed my gaze to our joined hands, then quickly let go. "Sorry, I-" he began, before quickly shutting his eyes & shaking his head. "No, you know what?" He locked his gaze on mine. "I'm not sorry. And that's exactly what I came here for. To tell you that I'm not sorry."

I blinked, trying to understand what he meant.

He took a step forward, leaving little room between us. "I'm not sorry for holding your hand just now and I'm not sorry for the way I behaved on Wednesday. In fact, I'm sorry for even apologizing for it when both you & I knew very well I hadn't meant it." His voice just above a whisper.

"Sorry is something you say when you say words you didn't mean or when you make an error. None of that is what I feel when it comes to you. If anything, I'm sorry for the way I made you feel, thinking I hadn't meant any regard towards you at all."