Linger

T W E N T Y

Hey Madison

Sorry about the way things went down tonight

Just know the offer still stands and I would love if you'd give me another shot

- Tom (Sasha gave me your number)

I bit the inside of my cheek as I turned the screen off and slipped my phone back in my pocket, not knowing how to even begin to reply.

"Hey, look who's here!!"

I looked up to see my mom and little brother, Mikey, walking down the field and toward the bleachers.

"Hey!" I gave them a small smile, moving over so they could sit next to me.

"How's the game going?" my mom asked, sliding in the seat next to me. "Did Katie score?"

"Um . . ." I drifted my gaze over to the field, scolding myself for not paying more attention to Katie's game. That's why I came here in the first place. Instead, I let myself get swept away in the smallest, most meaningless moment. 

We barely even talked and if we did, it was about nothing important. My naive heart just got so easily caught in him whenever he seemed to around that everything else would just fade away . . . including my own sister's soccer game.

She was excited for me to be here too, even promising to score multiple goals and win. Yet, here I was paying more attention to some guy than her. He didn't promise anything to me, so why was I paying attention to him? In fact, after all the time we spent together and close moments we shared, he said it didn't change a single thing between us. I pointed it out it was awkward, however he insisted it was the opposite . . . annoyance began to flare within me as his voice replayed through my mind.

How could he? Did those moments not mean anything to him? Did all that time mean more to me than to him? Of course they did. I was just a silly high-schooler, foolishly crushing on some older guy, convinced it could ever be something more. Naively convinced.

Of course it wouldn't mean anything to him. Of course it didn't change anything between us, according to him. He probably did this all the time. He was older. He was used to hooking up and moving on as if nothing ever happened.

How stupid of me to think I could ever keep up.

I took my phone out to pull up Tom's message.

"Oooh!" My mom gasped next to me, jumping in her seat. "How about some popcorn treats?"

"Some what?" I looked up at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"They're these little popcorn treats."

"What's a popcorn treat?"

"You know, like a treat but with popcorn . . ."

I tilted my head at her, still not getting it.

"They're in bags," she stated, as if it explained perfectly what she was talking about.

I shook my head. "What?"

"Popcorn treats! They're really good. You'll love them. Here." She handed a few bills to Mikey. "Go grab a few and whatever else you'd like. The game hasn't started yet anyway."

"Grab them from where?" I asked.

"The dessert table!" She nodded toward the field. I followed her gaze to past the sidelines . . . to the table I had just left . . . of course.

I turned back to my mom. "Do you want, like, coffee or anything? There's a coffee shop nearby."

"Sweetie, the dessert table is right there!" she told me with a laugh. "And I really like those little popcorn treats Coach Dan makes. You've gotta try them."